Recognizing the Warning Signs: How to Help Prevent Suicide and Support Mental Health
The Survivors PodcastJune 11, 2025x
14
00:26:2925.22 MB

Recognizing the Warning Signs: How to Help Prevent Suicide and Support Mental Health

This episode digs deep into the warning signs of suicidal ideation and mental health struggles, both the obvious and the hidden. Lisa and Gretchen share raw, personal stories and provide powerful, actionable advice on supporting someone who might be silently suffering.

 

🎥 Watch the Video Podcast on YouTube:
A video version of this episode is available here: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSurvivorsPodcastChannel

 

🎙️ This episode is proudly brought to you by Schoser Talent and Wellness Solutions
Struggling with employee burnout, high turnover, or clunky onboarding processes? Feeling overwhelmed by change or unsure how to support your team’s mental health in the workplace? You’re not alone. Welcome to Schoser Talent and Wellness Solutions—your all-in-one partner for building healthier, more resilient organizations.
Visit: https://schosersolutions.com/

 

🧠 Episode Summary

In one of the most emotionally powerful episodes yet, Lisa and Gretchen break down the signs we often miss when someone is silently screaming for help. They explore the "two buckets" of those struggling—those who hide it well and those who visibly unravel—and offer a toolkit of conversational strategies and crisis support steps. Through personal stories and field-tested advice, they show how asking the right question could save a life.

 

📘 Lessons Learned
  • There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to suicide warning signs—some suffer in silence, others show clear distress.

  • Asking open-ended, direct questions like “Are you thinking of harming yourself?” can be life-saving.

  • Holding space without judgment creates safety. Validation and presence matter more than solutions.

  • A single person showing up can reduce suicide risk by up to 40% in the LGBTQ+ community.

  • Add the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline to your phone favorites—you may save someone’s life.

 

⏱️ Chapters

00:00 – Trigger Warning & Episode Intro
01:00 – The Two Buckets: Silent Suffering vs. Visible Struggle
02:45 – How to Spot Behavior Changes
05:00 – Lisa’s Personal Experience with Hidden Depression
08:00 – Why Questions Matter: Open-Ended vs. Yes/No
12:00 – The Power of the 988 Crisis Line
16:00 – Building a Safety Plan: What to Ask
21:00 – Dispelling Myths: Talking About Suicide Won’t “Cause” It
24:00 – How to Respond if Someone Says “Yes”
25:45 – Closing Reflections and Call to Action

 

📚 Resources for Mental Health & Support

🔹 The Survivors Podcast Website – https://thesurvivors.net/
🔹 The HelpHUB™ – Mental health resources, tools, and support networks – https://www.thehelphub.co/
🔹 Schoser Talent and Wellness Solutions – Mental wellness coaching & support – https://schosersolutions.com/
🔹 Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads – A raw, award-winning mental health podcast – https://goesoninourheads.net/

 

🧠 Mental Health Resources

🔹 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline – Free, confidential 24/7 support for people in distress: https://988lifeline.org
🔹 The Trevor Project – Crisis support and suicide prevention for LGBTQ+ youth: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/
🔹 Crisis Text Line – Text HOME to 741741 for 24/7 crisis counseling: https://www.crisistextline.org/
🔹 Samaritans USA – 24/7 emotional support for people who are struggling: https://samaritansusa.org/

 

📲 Follow & Connect With Us

📷 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_survivors_podcast
🔗 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-survivors-podcast
🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSurvivorsPodcastChannel

 

 

#TheSurvivorsPodcast #EndTheStigma #MentalHealthMatters #SuicidePrevention #YouAreNotAlone #BreakTheSilence #GriefSupport #988Lifeline #SurvivorStories #HealingTogether #PodMatch #MentalHealth #SuicideAwareness #Podcast #Community #Hope #Grief #Stigma #MentalIllness #Support #LisaSugarman #GretchenSchoser #ItsOkayToNotBeOkay #MentalHealthAwareness #YouMatter #HoldSpace #ValidateDontFix #ListenToUnderstand #TalkAboutIt #InvisibleIllness #CheckOnYourFriends #HelpIsHere

 

🎙️ See You Next Week! Stay strong, keep going, and remember: You are enough. 💜


00:00:01
The Survivors is brought to you by our friends at Schoser Talent and Wellness

00:00:04
Solutions. This podcast mentions suicide, mental illness,

00:00:08
grief and loss and may be triggering for some listeners. So

00:00:12
please take care of your mental well being by pausing or skipping any

00:00:15
sections that feel uncomfortable to you. And if you or someone you know is

00:00:19
struggling, please call 988 for support.

00:00:23
So we talk a ton about every facet

00:00:26
of suicide awareness and prevention and

00:00:30
what to do and how to have the conversations. We haven't really

00:00:34
spent an awful lot of time yet talking about. What are the

00:00:37
warning signs? Like what. What are the things that we should be

00:00:41
looking for when we're looking at the people around us? When we're looking

00:00:45
at our family members and our partners and spouses

00:00:48
and kids and friends? You and I have talked a lot, just the two of

00:00:52
us, about there are kind of two buckets. I always say it in the same

00:00:56
way. There are two buckets of people in the world. There's the bucket where

00:00:59
no one knows anything is wrong. My dad was in that bucket.

00:01:03
You were in that bucket. Nobody has a clue. Life is

00:01:07
always great. Smile's always on your face and you're dead

00:01:10
inside. Then you have the other bucket where it's obvious. It's like

00:01:14
overflowing because there's so much that the person is

00:01:17
putting out into the world about how unhappy they are. And, and in lots of

00:01:21
ways that can be really helpful. It can be scary, but it can be really

00:01:23
helpful. So there are two different kinds of people. But what do you do when

00:01:27
you find out or you have a hunch that somebody is not

00:01:30
okay? What do you do? Like, that's, that's what I think. In my

00:01:34
opinion, people really need to know because it is

00:01:37
absolutely terrifying when you're trying to figure out how to help somebody.

00:01:41
Yeah, for me, I hid my depression, but at the time I

00:01:44
just didn't know how to talk about it. I kind of like checked out and

00:01:48
nobody even blinked twice when that happened. I didn't put up any

00:01:51
Christmas decorations or Thanksgiving. I kind of

00:01:55
just checked out. I wish that somebody had dug a

00:01:59
little deeper and asked some more probing questions about what was going

00:02:02
on inside my head. That's key. And I'm really glad you said that because

00:02:06
in trying to figure out where somebody's at,

00:02:10
the way that we engage with them, the questions that we ask

00:02:14
them, that's critical. It's so important to ask

00:02:18
open ended questions. And I'm saying this now as someone who spends

00:02:21
an awful lot of my time on crisis hotlines and in

00:02:25
support groups and grief support groups. And we oftentimes

00:02:29
ask questions that are super simple. They're like, yes and no questions. And we think

00:02:33
that we're kind of checking off the box, like, how you doing? Are you good?

00:02:36
That's everybody's first instinct. Are you good? You having a good day? And

00:02:39
then you're going to say, yeah, no, I'm great. Everything's. Everything's great.

00:02:43
Moving on, you know, and then you just kind of flit off and do the

00:02:46
next thing, and nothing else is required of you. And for the person who's

00:02:50
asking, it kind of sort of checks the box of, okay, I was checking

00:02:54
in on my person. Yeah, yeah, I see you. And then at the

00:02:58
same time, it was like, I didn't have to really dig too deep, but I

00:03:00
got the question out there. And the problem with that is that it's.

00:03:04
It's super easy, especially for those. And you talk about

00:03:08
extroverted people a lot because that's how you were at that time.

00:03:11
You don't feel like there's any reason to dig any deeper because they seem great.

00:03:15
So why would you. So, okay, so let's. Let's talk about what do we

00:03:19
do? What do we do when we start to see that something's off? What does

00:03:22
that even look like? What does looking off look like for a lot

00:03:26
of people? Like, okay, for you, it looked like you were disengaging.

00:03:30
You didn't put up Christmas decorations. What else. What else did

00:03:33
you do that was different from your normal behavior? I was a little

00:03:37
snippy. For me, you know, I have a very gregarious

00:03:41
personality. Like, you either love me or you hate me. I'm a little

00:03:44
irreverent, but my temper. I had a shorter

00:03:48
fuse. Like, I can let a lot of stuff roll off my back. But during

00:03:52
those three months when stuff was really horrible, I had a really

00:03:56
short fuse. And I didn't have a whole lot of time in my head

00:04:01
for people that were whining and complaining. I also

00:04:04
kind of. I was sad, but I was happy at the same time.

00:04:08
But when I was sad, nobody else saw it because I would do the sadness

00:04:12
on my own time because I didn't want anybody to see,

00:04:16
because I felt weak. I'm like, I gotta be able to get past

00:04:20
this, but I'd be really sad on my own.

00:04:24
In my book, I give really good examples of what people

00:04:28
can look for and how they can help. We already talked about the probing

00:04:31
questions. Number two, making sure that we're getting out of our own

00:04:35
Head. Even during the winter months, people out of the house. I didn't want to

00:04:39
leave the house. Like, I don't want to do anything. I didn't even want to

00:04:41
get dressed. I had to, because I was still working, trying to have a conversation,

00:04:45
like, a really deep conversation, trying to get me to laugh.

00:04:50
You know, changing my browsing history, like, probably would have

00:04:54
been okay because I was looking up ways to, like,

00:04:58
just be done. Wow. Okay. I didn't even know that. You never shared that with

00:05:01
me before. Not a whole lot of people knew that. But I was thinking of

00:05:05
ways of, like, how can I do this so it doesn't hurt a lot of

00:05:08
people. And then I also, like, had the thoughts in my head of, like, what

00:05:12
are people gonna think of me? And

00:05:16
so, you know, thank God for that little glimmer of hope that things were gonna

00:05:19
be okay, because they did turn out okay. But for a lot of people,

00:05:22
I think they don't have that glimmer, and they don't have anybody to

00:05:26
talk to, or they're at work and they're kind of, like, being

00:05:30
absent a lot, or they're not doing their work or

00:05:34
they've checked out, or they're, like, you know, looking up,

00:05:37
giving away all their stuff, like, hey, here's my new laptop. You can

00:05:41
have it. Right? Those are kind of signs that you need to look for

00:05:45
and help them get the help that they need, whether it's called a

00:05:49
988, whether it's getting them to a crisis center,

00:05:53
whether it's just go to the ER or urgent

00:05:56
care, like, show a vested interest in them because

00:06:00
it's us screaming to the world that we're not okay. Yeah, yeah.

00:06:04
No, that's all really powerful and important and

00:06:08
a lot of it, too. I think it just starts fundamentally with

00:06:12
keeping your eyes open. You and I talked in one of our more recent episodes

00:06:15
about self care and about how important it is to take the oxygen mask on

00:06:19
yourself and make sure that you're good. You can't help anybody if you're not good.

00:06:22
But we also. That means paying attention to yourself. But at the same time,

00:06:26
like, we really do have to be paying attention to the people around us.

00:06:30
We're not here alone. We're here with a world full

00:06:34
of people, with communities, full of people, with families,

00:06:37
filled with people in a lot of cases. And we do have, I

00:06:41
believe, an active responsibility to be looking out for each

00:06:45
other. We can't solve each other's problems all the time, if ever, but

00:06:49
we can be there to hold space. We can be there to just listen. We

00:06:52
can be there to guide someone, to support someone, to laugh or

00:06:56
cry with someone. So there's so many different ways that we can show up, but

00:06:59
at the end of the day, we have to be paying attention. And if we

00:07:02
notice that something is off, like all the things that you said,

00:07:06
you know, work performance is suffering. Maybe hygiene is

00:07:10
suffering. Someone who used to respond right back to your

00:07:13
texts or your phone calls is totally disengaged. Someone's canceling

00:07:17
plans all the time, no enthusiasm for anything. You haven't seen

00:07:20
them laugh in a long time. I mean, all those things, those are definitely

00:07:24
telltale signs. But there are lots of other signs that may not

00:07:28
be as common. But you know them because you know your person, you

00:07:32
know your child, and you know your spouse or you know your best friend. And

00:07:35
you know what their baseline is. And it's when

00:07:39
you notice a sharp shift away from that

00:07:42
baseline that that usually means something's wrong,

00:07:46
something isn't good. And so, okay, then what do you do? Because

00:07:50
everybody wants to help, or the majority of people. We all want help,

00:07:53
right? But it's terrifying. We want to find out what's wrong. We want to try

00:07:57
and help the person through whatever it is that they're dealing with, but a lot

00:08:01
of us just are not equipped. And so right there, you're just like, oh, God,

00:08:04
what. What do I do? What do I say? I don't want to do anything

00:08:07
that makes the situation worse. I think a lot of people have that kind of

00:08:11
built in fear, but we don't have to have that kind of fear

00:08:15
if we have the knowledge of the ways that we

00:08:19
can help people. And you already said the number one.

00:08:23
In my opinion, there are two things equally as important.

00:08:26
Lifeline numbers like the 988 crisis and suicide

00:08:30
hotline, places like the Trevor Project, platforms like the

00:08:33
crisis text line, Samaritans, all of these places that you

00:08:37
can immediately access. You don't have to pay a dime. You don't have to

00:08:41
wait in line for months. You just call. And the other thing

00:08:44
is having conversations. It all starts by having a conversation

00:08:48
with someone and asking the hard questions. And the conversation usually

00:08:52
has to be somebody asking you the question.

00:08:56
Because in my. My case, I couldn't talk about

00:09:00
it because I. Like I said, and I'll say it again, I didn't understand

00:09:03
what was happening in my own body. I didn't understand what was happening in

00:09:07
my mind. I didn't know how to tell somebody how

00:09:11
shitty I was feeling because I'M telling you, like, all I wanted to do

00:09:15
was be done. I was ready to check out, and

00:09:19
there was a lot that had gone. Gone on during that

00:09:22
period of time. I kind of wish that somebody would have, like, brought up

00:09:27
calling 988 sooner, but I wasn't looking for that when I

00:09:30
was looking for stuff online. I was looking for ways to just

00:09:34
get out of my head and maybe having these numbers on your

00:09:38
phone, because you never know when the one a situation's gonna come up

00:09:42
that you are in a conversation with somebody and they need this

00:09:45
phone number or they need to talk to somebody. So, like, for

00:09:49
me, I have the 988 crisis line as a favorite on my phone.

00:09:53
Hopefully I'm never gonna need it again, but, you know,

00:09:57
life happens, and I may be with somebody who actually needs that

00:10:01
phone number, but being there, being present, asking

00:10:04
really good questions, and helping to calm down the

00:10:08
inner demons, that helps. Don't be judgmental. Just

00:10:12
like, don't. Don't be a dick. Don't be judgmental.

00:10:16
Just hold space and see what you can do to maybe, like, talk to them

00:10:20
and get them to open up a little bit more. And if you're not getting

00:10:23
anywhere, make that suggestion for them to call 988. Sit with them

00:10:27
while they make that call. Help

00:10:30
them realize that they are enough, that they're wanted, they're needed,

00:10:34
they're loved, and a lot of things can happen. There could be

00:10:38
somebody maybe just lost their job or they got

00:10:41
diagnosed with a really serious illness, or they've got some

00:10:45
financial stress or legal problems, or maybe they

00:10:49
have a history of trauma. Maybe you don't know what's going on. All you

00:10:52
notice is that there's been a huge change in them and you want to

00:10:56
help. Yeah. And here's the thing that was

00:10:59
so profound for me when I was training to

00:11:03
be on the lifelines. One of the things that. That we have to learn

00:11:07
how to do in every case, with every call,

00:11:11
regardless of what we believe the

00:11:15
level of crisis is because that's subjective. What I think might

00:11:18
be something manageable might be something that throws

00:11:22
somebody else completely out of control. So one of the things that I learned that

00:11:26
was the most valuable was take every call. And so now

00:11:30
I'm changing that for the purposes of this conversation and saying, take

00:11:33
every conversation at face value. Whatever it is

00:11:37
that the person you're talking to, your friend, your family member, your

00:11:40
coworker is sharing with you, that's sacred.

00:11:44
If that person feels comfortable enough with you to have

00:11:48
that kind of an intimate, honest, vulnerable conversation.

00:11:52
You just go into that conversation assuming that every single

00:11:55
thing that that person is telling you is exactly what

00:12:00
they're telling you. In other words, validate, validate,

00:12:03
validate. Because I can only speak in terms of the Trevor

00:12:07
Project, in terms of data relating to the Trevor project in the queer

00:12:10
community, but one single person, and I use this statistic a lot because

00:12:14
I'm just always so moved by it, one single person

00:12:18
who shows up to listen to someone who is in crisis within the

00:12:21
queer community can reduce that person's risk of harming

00:12:25
themselves or taking their life by 40%. That's a huge

00:12:29
number. That's almost half of the people out there who are

00:12:32
struggling, who will survive if one person takes the time

00:12:36
to hold space for them and to validate them and to listen to them non

00:12:39
judgmentally. And those are the keys. That's it. There's no great art and

00:12:43
science behind holding space for someone. All it is is

00:12:47
listen to what they have to say and validate it and be there to

00:12:51
support. Like you said it yourself, and I've said it a million times, we're not

00:12:54
there as crisis counselors, as therapists, as friends, as

00:12:58
family members. We're not there to solve your problems. We're there to help

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00:14:18
Absolutely. And you know, like you said, you know, everybody's story is

00:14:22
different. Everybody's journey is different. I, like I said, I just had a

00:14:26
lot going on. My little brain, as big as everybody

00:14:30
thinks it is, my little brain just had way too much shit in it. And

00:14:33
like I Couldn't filter out the good from the bad. And no fault of my

00:14:37
friends or, or my wife or my co workers because I

00:14:40
hid what was going on so well, they didn't even have an

00:14:44
opportunity to help me out. Well, look, you can't. And when I say you,

00:14:48
I mean people in general. We can't fix a problem

00:14:52
that we don't know exists. If you don't know that someone is

00:14:56
struggling and you don't know why, how can you

00:14:59
address that? How can you help with that? You can't.

00:15:03
And that's why it's this whole process that we're talking about.

00:15:07
But like, you know, pinpointing the signs, paying attention to the signs, and

00:15:11
then acting on that and knowing what to do. You have to be hyper

00:15:14
vigilant in the way that you, you get someone to, to not

00:15:18
only open up, but you get them to help themselves. And it goes both ways.

00:15:22
Like you can't do it all yourself on their behalf and they

00:15:25
can't do it alone. So it becomes a team effort. And maybe

00:15:29
the team is just you and another person, or maybe the team is you and

00:15:32
a therapist or a crisis counselor or a friend, or maybe it's a family or

00:15:35
a whole community. But it takes more than just one single person.

00:15:39
And a lot of it involves breaking cycles

00:15:42
because so much of what goes on in people's heads. And tell me if this

00:15:46
is true, because this is why I love the fact that you and I have

00:15:49
so many different perspectives to come at this from. You've been there,

00:15:52
You've been in that place of hopelessness and desperation where you

00:15:56
did not wanna live anymore. You were done. What was

00:16:00
going through your head in those moments? Were you actively

00:16:03
trying to throw people off the track? Were you just kind of resigned?

00:16:07
Were you playing a part? Or were you just like, screw it? If somebody

00:16:11
notices, they notice. Yes, to all of it. For me, I didn't

00:16:14
understand how I could tell somebody what was going on. It was very

00:16:18
confusing for me because I'd never felt like that before.

00:16:22
I'm kind of mad at myself though, that I didn't open up

00:16:25
sooner. But when I got really depressed of this last November,

00:16:29
like I didn't hide it. So things that I had learned through

00:16:33
therapy had helped me to identify that you're kind of

00:16:36
fucked up in the head again. But I don't have the tools.

00:16:40
I couldn't open up. And I didn't know how to ask for

00:16:44
help at that time. But I had remembered that I'd seen a

00:16:48
commercial for 988. And thank God I saw

00:16:51
that commercial because I kept that in the back of my head as

00:16:55
all the other stuff was going on. Yeah, that's one of the big things you

00:16:59
and I are out here doing. That's why we mention that number

00:17:02
every single time we record. That's why we

00:17:06
mention that number in every post that you and I make on social

00:17:10
media. Because that one resource can so

00:17:13
often be the difference between life and death. And I

00:17:17
can't think of a better resource that's out there that we put in

00:17:21
people's hands. I mean, that's. That's why the mental health community shortened

00:17:25
it from an actual 800 number down the way

00:17:28
that they made 91 1. An emergency line that people

00:17:32
just immediately. Three digits. And you're. You're getting help. Same

00:17:36
thing for our mental health and wellness. And it's just so

00:17:39
important that. That I think I'm just sitting here thinking, like, about

00:17:43
how isolating it is when you're alone in your own head

00:17:47
with those thoughts that keep circulating over and over and

00:17:51
over again. Like, you must have been like, I just want to hug you right

00:17:54
now because you must have been in such a state. And at

00:17:58
least you. So you were thinking. You were thinking of

00:18:01
other people, and that's not as common. You were

00:18:05
thinking about how your actions and your

00:18:09
potential decision to end your life would affect your wife and your family and the

00:18:13
people you work with and your friends. Thank God. Like, thank God that you had

00:18:16
those thoughts coming through your head to give you even a little bit of

00:18:20
pause. There are so many people out there who don't. They don't

00:18:24
consider the outcome the ramification. They are thinking about one

00:18:27
thing. And most people who are in that kind of a headspace are thinking about

00:18:31
one thing only, which is make that pain

00:18:35
stop. Right. Yeah. And that's why I made the call.

00:18:39
Because it was that call or figure out a way

00:18:42
to be done. And I think I got scared. I think I

00:18:46
scared myself to the point. That's why I picked up the

00:18:50
phone and called 988. Because I was literally that close.

00:18:53
I'm glad that I made the call. I'm happy to be alive today. It's been

00:18:57
a two and a half years of really hard work on myself, but I

00:19:01
wouldn't be where I am today if I'd gone

00:19:04
through all that shit. Yeah, if you hadn't gone through it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean,

00:19:08
and the juice is worth the squeeze, right? It really. It really is. But the

00:19:12
problem is people can't often see that when they're in the

00:19:16
thick of their emotions, when they're in the weeds and they can't

00:19:19
see anything around them and they, they get hijacked

00:19:23
by, by the depression and by the

00:19:27
negative self talk and by the, the

00:19:30
feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy and whatever else piles

00:19:34
on you, becomes something, I would imagine that you just, you can't even like

00:19:38
lift your head anymore because it's so filled with all

00:19:42
the reasons why you want to get away. I, I, I think the other

00:19:45
two thing too is that a lot of people are kind of self,

00:19:49
self absorbed, right? They may notice a difference in somebody

00:19:53
else, but they don't want to get involved. Right? I don't know.

00:19:57
I'm just going to put a selfless plea out there. If

00:20:01
you see somebody that's struggling, make that attempt, because

00:20:05
that attempt may be the reason they are alive. Reach

00:20:08
out, give them a hug, give them your phone, help them dial

00:20:12
988. It's that simple. I get

00:20:16
it. We all got a lot of shit going on. But for

00:20:19
those of us that are mentally checked out,

00:20:24
having somebody take that, just that tiny extra

00:20:28
step can be a matter of life or death. It absolutely

00:20:31
can. And I think this is a good point in the conversation

00:20:35
to talk about how to have the hard conversation, how to

00:20:39
ask the questions that are really truly the meaningful questions that

00:20:42
will allow you to drill down and know, okay, we

00:20:46
are in a bad place right now. We gotta do something. So when

00:20:50
you're dealing with someone who you either have been told, maybe the

00:20:54
person has told you, they're, they're in that cohort of people who will say how

00:20:57
they feel and you know it because they're sharing it, or maybe you're with someone

00:21:01
who doesn't say it. Either way, you can almost always have the

00:21:04
same kind of conversation. You need to use very specific,

00:21:08
very direct language. And it can be really,

00:21:12
really scary. I mean, I use it when I do a risk

00:21:15
assessment on every single Lifeline call that I take. This is what

00:21:19
we're doing, risk assessments within the first five minutes of every single call that

00:21:23
we take. And they're always the same. We're

00:21:26
asking, are you thinking about harming or

00:21:30
killing yourself? And I know people freak out when they

00:21:33
hear that. They're like, I, I can't say that. You can't say

00:21:37
that to someone because that's going to start them thinking about

00:21:41
suicide and that will encourage them to do the thing.

00:21:44
No, that is untrue. Don't think that way because

00:21:48
there is so much Data to support studies,

00:21:52
to support the fact that when you actually ask that

00:21:55
question in that way with those words, it dramatically

00:21:59
reduces the likelihood that that person will harm themselves or kill

00:22:03
themselves. And here's why. When you ask someone

00:22:06
who you believe is struggling, are you thinking of harming yourself

00:22:10
immediately? That identifies you as someone safe. That identifies

00:22:14
you as a person who's taking them seriously. You're

00:22:17
validating them. You're saying, I see you. I see that things suck

00:22:21
for you right now. I see that it's hard for you right now. I see

00:22:24
that you're hurting right now. And I'm here. I'm here, and I'm safe, and

00:22:28
I want to help. So that's why in

00:22:31
saying the scary thing to the person who's struggling, you're actually

00:22:35
saving their life in a lot of cases by saying that. Then what do you

00:22:39
do? Then when they come back and they say, actually, you know what?

00:22:42
I have been thinking about harming myself or I am

00:22:46
considering ending my own life, then you get some more questions

00:22:50
you need to ask, and they're just as challenging, but they're just

00:22:54
as important. Then you say, have you done anything today? Did you do anything today

00:22:58
to harm yourself? Let's say they say, no, but I'm going to do it this

00:23:00
weekend. Okay, well, what are you going to do? Do you have a plan?

00:23:04
Tell me about your plan. And then you get them to tell you about the

00:23:07
plan. Do you have a timeline? When are you planning on doing this? Well, I'm

00:23:10
going to do it on Saturday. Well, okay, well, where are those things right now

00:23:13
that you're going to use to do the thing? And they say, well, I'm in

00:23:17
the bedroom, and they're. They're right over there on the. On the bureau. Okay,

00:23:20
well, can you do me a favor? Just while we're talking, maybe you're not with

00:23:23
the person. Maybe they're on the phone, or maybe you're in person with them. You

00:23:26
say, let's do this. While we're having this conversation, can you do me a favor?

00:23:30
Can you walk out of the room? Leave that stuff here. Walk out of the

00:23:34
room, go to a different place. Separate. You want to separate the person

00:23:37
from the means that they're going to use to end their life

00:23:41
if that's with them? And then you're jumping into a

00:23:44
conversation about. So who do you have for support? Do you

00:23:48
have a therapist? Do you know about the 988 crisis lifeline? Do you think you

00:23:52
need to go to the hospital? Can I take you? Can I Make a phone

00:23:55
call for you. Can I call a family member or friend? So that's. You see

00:23:58
how, you know, one question leads instinctively,

00:24:02
naturally kind of down that decision tree all the way down

00:24:06
to the point where, okay, now you've. You've gotten the person to admit

00:24:09
what's going on, to share what their plans are. You've kind of

00:24:13
separated them from anything harmful. And now you're like,

00:24:17
okay, safety plan. How do I keep this person safe right

00:24:20
now? And that's what you. That's what you work on. That's what the

00:24:24
rest of your questions focus on. Who's there to help and how can we

00:24:28
get you to that place or that person to help you. So those

00:24:32
are. Those are the warning signs. Those are the ways to have the

00:24:36
conversation. And at the end of the day, the best thing in

00:24:40
the world that you can do, if there is no other option and there's no

00:24:42
therapist in the picture and there's no family or community to

00:24:46
help, you either get that person in the car and drive them to the

00:24:50
emergency room of the hospital or you call 988

00:24:54
and inferior. Those people out there that are listening

00:24:57
for me. Once I made that call to 988,

00:25:01
I didn't see it as a sign of weakness. I saw it as a sign

00:25:05
of strength. Because in the back of my

00:25:08
head, I kind of knew I didn't want to die,

00:25:12
but I was tired of feeling like shit. And so

00:25:16
if you know somebody that's out there, help them make that call.

00:25:20
Yeah, it's worth it. I'm awfully glad that you made that call. I mean, this

00:25:23
was long before you and I even met each other, but boy, am I glad

00:25:27
you're still here. Boy, am I glad you made that call. And if you're

00:25:30
listening to us right now and you are not okay, now you

00:25:34
know who to call. You call 988. And if you know someone who's not

00:25:37
okay now, you know what to do. You have the language, you have

00:25:41
the hotline numbers, and you know the questions to ask. So

00:25:45
keep each other safe, okay? Yeah, for sure. And we'll see you guys next

00:25:49
week. I love you, Chi. Love you, man. Thanks for

00:25:53
joining us on the Survivors. Remember, no matter how tough things feel,

00:25:56
you are enough. And the world needs you just the way you are. You're

00:26:00
not alone in this journey. There's a community here, and every step forward

00:26:03
counts. We're so grateful you took the time to listen, and we hope you'll

00:26:07
take one day at a time. Just know there's always more light ahead.

00:26:12
Thanks for being here, friends. Just remember, help is out there

00:26:16
in so many different places. So if you or someone you know is struggling,

00:26:20
please call 988 and a trained crisis counselor like me will be there

00:26:24
to help. You can also find an inclusive and comprehensive directory of

00:26:27
mental health resources, tools and

00:26:29
content@thehelphub.co. just remember that

00:26:33
help is always just a call or a click away. We'll catch you next week.

00:26:37
In the meantime, keep surviving.