LGBTQ+ Mental Health & Suicide Prevention: Real Talk for Pride Month To Saves Lives
The Survivors PodcastJune 04, 2025
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season 1,

LGBTQ+ Mental Health & Suicide Prevention: Real Talk for Pride Month To Saves Lives

In this heartfelt Pride Month episode, Lisa and Gretchen open up about their personal coming out stories, the mental health struggles within the LGBTQ+ community, and how support, resources, and kindness can truly save lives. From Free Mom Hugs to the Trevor Project, this episode is packed with essential info, tough truths, and beautiful reminders that you are never alone.

 

🎥 Watch the Video Podcast on YouTube:
A video version of this episode is available here: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSurvivorsPodcastChannel

 

🎙️ This episode is proudly brought to you by Schoser Talent and Wellness Solutions
Struggling with employee burnout, high turnover, or clunky onboarding processes? Feeling overwhelmed by change or unsure how to support your team’s mental health in the workplace? You’re not alone.
Visit https://schosersolutions.com today.
💙 Because your mental well-being matters. 💙

📝 Episode Summary:

Lisa and Gretchen share powerful, vulnerable stories about their own journeys in coming out and the intersections between LGBTQ+ identity and mental health. They spotlight the terrifying realities of suicide statistics among queer youth and offer actionable resources and messages of empathy for both individuals and families. This raw, affirming conversation not only honors Pride Month but also amplifies the need for compassion, inclusion, and community support—especially in difficult times. They stress that support is always just a call or click away.

 

🎯 Lessons Learned:

  • Coming out is deeply personal and cannot be rushed. Support must be unconditional and judgment-free.

  • Resources like 988 and The Trevor Project can be life-saving, especially for LGBTQ+ youth struggling with identity and mental illness.

  • Community matters. Whether you're a parent, friend, or ally, empathy and kindness go a long way in saving lives.

  • Visibility saves lives. Wearing a pride shirt, offering a hug, or simply listening can make an enormous difference.

  • Support isn't just for young people—older LGBTQ+ individuals also face challenges and need inclusive care.

 

⏰ Chapters:

  • 00:00 – Trigger Warning & Introduction

  • 01:00 – What Pride Really Means

  • 02:30 – Lisa’s Late-In-Life Coming Out Story

  • 04:10 – The Trevor Project and Suicide Prevention

  • 06:00 – The Reality of Backsliding LGBTQ+ Rights

  • 08:00 – Mental Health Stats That Demand Attention

  • 10:00 – Resources for Parents and Allies

  • 13:00 – Creating a Personal Mental Health Safety Plan

  • 15:00 – How Schoser Solutions Helps with Workplace Wellness

  • 18:00 – Why You Should Never Pressure Someone to Come Out

  • 21:00 – The Power of Community and Free Mom Hugs

  • 25:00 – Final Thoughts: Coexistence of Joy & Sadness in Pride

  • 27:00 – You Are Enough – Closing Message

 

📚 Resources for Mental Health & Support:

 

📲 Follow & Connect With Us:

 

🎙️ See You Next Week! Stay strong, keep going, and remember: You are enough. 💜

#TheSurvivorsPodcast #EndTheStigma #MentalHealthMatters #SuicidePrevention #YouAreNotAlone #BreakTheSilence #GriefSupport #988Lifeline #SurvivorStories #HealingTogether #PodMatch #MentalHealth #SuicideAwareness #Podcast #Community #Hope #Grief #Stigma #MentalIllness #Support #LisaSugarman #GretchenSchoser #Pride2025 #TrevorProject #LGBTQMentalHealth #ComingOutStories #PrideMonth #LoveIsLove #FreeMomHugs #LGBTQSupport #TransRightsAreHumanRights #QueerVoices #IntersectionalityMatters #Allyship #MentalHealthAwareness #LGBTQPodcast #PrideAndProgress #SafeToBeMe


00:00:01 --> 00:00:05 The Survivors is brought to you by our friends at Shoser Talent and Wellness Solutions.
00:00:05 --> 00:00:09 This podcast mentions suicide, mental illness, grief, and loss,
00:00:09 --> 00:00:11 and may be triggering for some listeners.
00:00:11 --> 00:00:16 So please take care of your mental well-being by pausing or skipping any sections
00:00:16 --> 00:00:17 that feel uncomfortable to you.
00:00:17 --> 00:00:21 And if you or someone you know is struggling, please call 988 for support.
00:00:22 --> 00:00:27 I'm so excited right now. Why am I excited right now? What is it right now?
00:00:27 --> 00:00:32 It's Pride Month. Yeah, it's Pride Month. I know, I know, I know. I'm so excited.
00:00:32 --> 00:00:38 Every year, I feel like I get more and more energized that it's Pride Month when June comes around.
00:00:39 --> 00:00:45 So the fact that June is now coming around and I have a podcast with you to
00:00:45 --> 00:00:48 get really excited about, it's got me all excited.
00:00:48 --> 00:00:54 We do, though, have to have an important conversation about pride and about
00:00:54 --> 00:00:57 mental health and about suicide prevention.
00:00:58 --> 00:01:02 But the fact that we can have it and we can laugh a little bit about it,
00:01:02 --> 00:01:06 I think will just make for a much better conversation, don't you? For sure.
00:01:07 --> 00:01:11 And it's not just about rainbows and unicorns and drinking and partying.
00:01:12 --> 00:01:15 You know, it's about coming out and feeling safe in your own shoes and feeling
00:01:15 --> 00:01:20 safe in your environment and feeling safe having somebody to come out to or
00:01:20 --> 00:01:22 just being able to talk to somebody.
00:01:22 --> 00:01:25 Pride is everything i've been out for more
00:01:25 --> 00:01:32 than 50 45 years maybe 48 years so when i when i came out it was really easy
00:01:32 --> 00:01:37 i came out to my mom but apparently she already knew thanks for cluing me in
00:01:37 --> 00:01:43 i appreciated that but when i came out i think it was easier for me to come out you know it was.
00:01:47 --> 00:01:51 I don't feel the pressures that people feel today because there's so many labels
00:01:51 --> 00:01:56 and there's so many things going on in the world that make it not safe for people
00:01:56 --> 00:01:58 to come out as their true selves.
00:01:58 --> 00:02:03 And it makes me really sad. It makes me sad, too. I came out late, super late in life.
00:02:03 --> 00:02:07 I mean, I'm 56 and I came out when I was 52.
00:02:07 --> 00:02:12 So I'm very much a late bloomer. I'm just a little queer baby.
00:02:12 --> 00:02:18 And I'm thrilled that I'm out now. And I wish that I had had the wherewithal
00:02:18 --> 00:02:24 or the courage or whatever it was that I felt I didn't have at that time to come out.
00:02:24 --> 00:02:29 A lot of it was just an understanding for me about what I really was and what
00:02:29 --> 00:02:32 the feelings that I was feeling meant.
00:02:32 --> 00:02:36 It was an issue of language. I really didn't understand, so I'm pansexual.
00:02:36 --> 00:02:41 And I didn't really understand that because it wasn't a mainstream word that
00:02:41 --> 00:02:42 we used when I was growing up.
00:02:42 --> 00:02:47 So what was ironic in my coming out story is that my oldest daughter,
00:02:47 --> 00:02:52 Riley, who came out when she was a junior in college, she came out as bi.
00:02:52 --> 00:02:56 She was the person who actually, unknowingly at the time, she was the one who
00:02:56 --> 00:03:02 actually helped me to figure out that I was queer. what it was about me that
00:03:02 --> 00:03:04 I couldn't ever put a word to.
00:03:04 --> 00:03:08 And she was just explaining to me the different nuances between things like
00:03:08 --> 00:03:14 bisexuality and pansexuality and omnisexuality, all the different categories
00:03:14 --> 00:03:18 and labels and words that I just didn't understand.
00:03:18 --> 00:03:22 And it's so liberating.
00:03:22 --> 00:03:25 It's such a beautiful feeling. I knew I would always have the support.
00:03:25 --> 00:03:28 I mean, if I had come out to my mom 30 years ago, 40 years ago,
00:03:29 --> 00:03:31 there's no question she would have been as supportive then as she was now,
00:03:31 --> 00:03:33 but it was a different world.
00:03:33 --> 00:03:36 And for whatever the reason, I kept that part of me hidden.
00:03:36 --> 00:03:41 And I'm just grateful that it's out right now. And I'm grateful that I can work
00:03:41 --> 00:03:44 with organizations like the Trevor Project.
00:03:44 --> 00:03:46 I'm a crisis counselor with the Trevor Project.
00:03:46 --> 00:03:53 And that's a big part of my identity now because there's a lot of intersectionality
00:03:53 --> 00:03:57 with my life as a suicide loss survivor and as a member of the queer community.
00:03:57 --> 00:04:00 I get to help people. I get to be on the lifeline.
00:04:00 --> 00:04:02 It's the Trevor Project. If you don't know about it, if you're listening and
00:04:02 --> 00:04:07 you've never heard about it, it's the largest LGBTQ crisis and suicide hotline
00:04:07 --> 00:04:09 on the planet right now. We help.
00:04:10 --> 00:04:15 Kids ages 13 to 24 with anything that they may be struggling with.
00:04:15 --> 00:04:21 And I just feel so absolutely blessed to be on the lifelines, especially right now.
00:04:21 --> 00:04:24 Like you and I were talking before we even hit record, you and I were talking
00:04:24 --> 00:04:28 about just the climate of the world that we're living in right now.
00:04:28 --> 00:04:31 Like we're coming into pride season right now, pride month.
00:04:31 --> 00:04:37 And there's an undercurrent right now, this year, that we have not felt in a very long time.
00:04:37 --> 00:04:41 You know, all of a sudden we did all this incredible forward motion and all
00:04:41 --> 00:04:44 of these incredible gains within the queer community.
00:04:44 --> 00:04:49 And now we're at a point where we feel like we're backsliding a lot and it's
00:04:49 --> 00:04:53 beyond a lot of people's control. And it is absolutely terrifying.
00:04:54 --> 00:04:57 You know, for me, because I've been out, like I said, 40 plus years,
00:04:58 --> 00:04:59 my wife's been out even longer.
00:05:00 --> 00:05:01 Like, I can't believe that we
00:05:01 --> 00:05:07 have to fight again for everything that we worked up to up to this point.
00:05:07 --> 00:05:12 But, you know, it's another way for us to show kindness and compassion and empathy
00:05:12 --> 00:05:16 for people that are going through this every day, for my friends that are friends,
00:05:16 --> 00:05:22 for the kids out there, for the parents, because a lot of the resources that
00:05:22 --> 00:05:27 we had available to us even two years ago are now being yanked away.
00:05:27 --> 00:05:32 References to who we are, our labels, people can't use them in the government.
00:05:33 --> 00:05:37 I get it. But I'm going to remain who I am. That's right. I'm a big old lesbian.
00:05:37 --> 00:05:39 Ain't going back in the closet.
00:05:39 --> 00:05:41 Number one, I don't think I'm going to fit. I'm not going back.
00:05:42 --> 00:05:45 And I am someone that is safe to come out to.
00:05:45 --> 00:05:49 I'm not a mom, but I do give free mom hugs when available.
00:05:49 --> 00:05:54 I give advice where I can give advice. I have resources that people can use.
00:05:54 --> 00:05:58 And it's not just the younger generation. It's the older generation,
00:05:58 --> 00:06:02 too, because now we're kind of having the rug ripped out from underneath us,
00:06:02 --> 00:06:06 and we don't know where to turn or how we can help.
00:06:07 --> 00:06:11 I'm going to mention this in every single episode. You can still call 988.
00:06:11 --> 00:06:16 Even if you're not having those suicidal ideations, but you feel like you're
00:06:16 --> 00:06:18 in crisis, call 988. They can
00:06:18 --> 00:06:23 help guide you to a resource that is really going to be able to help you.
00:06:23 --> 00:06:28 They can talk you off the ledge. I'm alive today because of 988,
00:06:28 --> 00:06:32 and I'm thankful for that every single day, but.
00:06:33 --> 00:06:40 I can't imagine how terrifying it is for a 10-year-old thinking about their
00:06:40 --> 00:06:45 sexuality and listening to the news and being fearful of coming out.
00:06:45 --> 00:06:51 Yeah, these are tough times. And we want to focus on the positivity of pride
00:06:51 --> 00:06:56 and the excitement of pride and all the strides that the queer community has
00:06:56 --> 00:06:58 made. But it's hard right now.
00:06:59 --> 00:07:01 It's really, really hard. And people's mental health, people's mental health
00:07:01 --> 00:07:04 in general, like separate out the queer community.
00:07:04 --> 00:07:10 People's overall mental health right now is terrible. It's terrible for so many,
00:07:10 --> 00:07:11 many different factors.
00:07:11 --> 00:07:16 And then when you jump into the queer community, it elevates everything.
00:07:17 --> 00:07:19 It elevates the suicide rates.
00:07:19 --> 00:07:24 It elevates people's level of depression and exacerbates people's mental illness.
00:07:24 --> 00:07:27 I mean, I'm taking this now from my friends at the Trevor Project,
00:07:28 --> 00:07:29 this data, you know, I love my data.
00:07:29 --> 00:07:37 39% of LGBTQ plus young people seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year,
00:07:37 --> 00:07:42 including, and this number's scary, 46% of transgender and non-binary young
00:07:42 --> 00:07:45 people. It's scary right now.
00:07:45 --> 00:07:51 More than one in 10, that's 12% of LGBTQ young people attempted suicide in the past year.
00:07:52 --> 00:07:54 And those numbers are going to get higher.
00:07:54 --> 00:07:58 And more and more people are going to get desperate.
00:07:58 --> 00:08:06 So what's most important right now as we celebrate pride is to also inform people
00:08:06 --> 00:08:09 like you're doing, inform people of where they can go,
00:08:09 --> 00:08:13 who they can turn to when the celebration dies down a little bit and the reality
00:08:13 --> 00:08:18 of the tough times we're living in kicks in and your headspace goes south and
00:08:18 --> 00:08:19 you don't know where to turn.
00:08:20 --> 00:08:23 Like G said, you call 988 or if you're
00:08:24 --> 00:08:26 a part of the queer community and you want to talk to a counselor,
00:08:26 --> 00:08:31 someone like me, who has different types of resources that we can provide,
00:08:31 --> 00:08:32 call us at the Trevor Project.
00:08:32 --> 00:08:38 The number is 866-488-7386. They will absolutely be, all these numbers will
00:08:38 --> 00:08:42 be in our show notes and all over our social media as we post for Pride.
00:08:42 --> 00:08:49 But there's a lot to celebrate for sure, but there is also a lot to be afraid of.
00:08:49 --> 00:08:53 And it's how you and I always talk about life is a balance, right?
00:08:53 --> 00:08:55 And this is an example of that.
00:08:55 --> 00:09:00 100%. And like, there's other resources, especially for like parents who have
00:09:00 --> 00:09:02 children that are coming out.
00:09:02 --> 00:09:04 PFLAG, an amazing organization.
00:09:05 --> 00:09:09 You know, there's the Family Acceptance Project. There's Trans Family Support.
00:09:09 --> 00:09:10 There's the Human Rights Campaign.
00:09:11 --> 00:09:15 There are so many resources out there. And we will make sure we have all these
00:09:15 --> 00:09:18 resources in our show notes.
00:09:18 --> 00:09:23 Yep. There's SAGE for older members of the LGBTQ community as well.
00:09:23 --> 00:09:28 And you know, this might actually be a good time to give the Help Hub a shameless plug.
00:09:28 --> 00:09:34 So the Help Hub is the platform that I run that provides people with mental
00:09:34 --> 00:09:37 health resources and content and support.
00:09:38 --> 00:09:44 And the way that the Help Hub is structured is that it provides resources for unique communities.
00:09:44 --> 00:09:48 Like if you're in the BIPOC community, if you're part of the veterans community
00:09:48 --> 00:09:52 or the elderly community or the queer community or the Asian community,
00:09:52 --> 00:09:59 there are resources specific to you and to your demographic and your unique needs.
00:09:59 --> 00:10:02 And I have a massive, massive section
00:10:02 --> 00:10:09 for lgbtq resources if you go to the helphub.co again that'll be in the show
00:10:09 --> 00:10:14 notes as well and there are organizations and there are support systems out
00:10:14 --> 00:10:18 there that you can find they can help you we can help you find what you need
00:10:18 --> 00:10:21 in whatever moment you're you're struggling.
00:10:22 --> 00:10:27 And for anybody out there that doesn't have kids or maybe doesn't have a friend
00:10:27 --> 00:10:31 who is part of the LGBTQIA plus community, just remember empathy.
00:10:32 --> 00:10:36 Kindness go a really long way, especially in this day and age.
00:10:37 --> 00:10:40 There's a lot of people, me for one, we're terrified, right?
00:10:40 --> 00:10:44 Because we're not quite sure what's going to happen with our livelihood.
00:10:44 --> 00:10:49 And even I know there's resources out there, but sometimes we get stuck in a hole.
00:10:49 --> 00:10:54 And just having these numbers, maybe print them up, put them on a refrigerator,
00:10:54 --> 00:11:00 have a safety list for you and for your kids or your friends. Listen with an open ear.
00:11:00 --> 00:11:04 Don't judge. It's really hard for some people to come out because they're afraid
00:11:04 --> 00:11:10 of repercussions from work or from family members or from losing their friend group.
00:11:11 --> 00:11:16 It's a bazillion other things out there. But you know what? We have mental health
00:11:16 --> 00:11:18 issues just like everybody else.
00:11:18 --> 00:11:21 Right. And it's sad because that's true.
00:11:22 --> 00:11:26 We do have the same issues that anybody else in the world has,
00:11:26 --> 00:11:28 but there's another layer on top of it.
00:11:28 --> 00:11:32 We have this issue now that we're marginalized on top of that.
00:11:32 --> 00:11:38 So it makes what may be an already difficult situation on normal terms much
00:11:38 --> 00:11:44 more difficult when you factor in this other layer that the queer community has to deal with,
00:11:44 --> 00:11:51 this discrimination and alienation and all of these negative factors that just make life hard.
00:11:52 --> 00:11:57 And I have all these statistics in front of me at the moment, 50 percent.
00:11:58 --> 00:12:05 Of LGBTQ plus young people who wanted mental health care in the past year were not able to get it.
00:12:05 --> 00:12:12 It doesn't talk about why. Maybe I'm sure a lot of it could be financial barriers,
00:12:12 --> 00:12:17 but the fact of the matter is you're talking about 50% of the young people out
00:12:17 --> 00:12:21 there who feel like they need help and they can't get it.
00:12:21 --> 00:12:27 So it becomes so critically important for people like us who have a platform,
00:12:27 --> 00:12:32 who have access to resources, to put them out there in the mainstream and get
00:12:32 --> 00:12:35 them into the hands of the people who need them the most,
00:12:35 --> 00:12:42 because that's how people can make it through these difficult periods when they're
00:12:42 --> 00:12:46 feeling isolated and they're feeling alone and they're feeling like they don't have any help.
00:12:46 --> 00:12:50 Yeah, and the other thing that can help too, and libraries are a sacred space,
00:12:50 --> 00:12:55 but they also oftentimes offer up some really good resources for,
00:12:55 --> 00:12:57 you know, adults and kids alike.
00:12:57 --> 00:13:01 You know, having the phone number for the Trevor Project, having the phone number
00:13:01 --> 00:13:07 for 988 visible and available to people in our communities is super important.
00:13:08 --> 00:13:12 If you have a child and they're kind of not sure what they're going through
00:13:12 --> 00:13:17 and can't really self-identify, empathize with them. Call a crisis line.
00:13:18 --> 00:13:21 Get the kids the help that they need because sometimes they don't know how to
00:13:21 --> 00:13:25 articulate what's going on in their own bodies because they don't understand
00:13:25 --> 00:13:30 it because we all know that our hormones are horrible. And like they say.
00:13:31 --> 00:13:35 Help you to have, like, these crazy, irrational thoughts.
00:13:35 --> 00:13:40 And like I said, for me, I was very, very, very, very lucky.
00:13:40 --> 00:13:41 My parents were amazing.
00:13:41 --> 00:13:46 When I came out to them, I didn't have any problems. But I had friends who came
00:13:46 --> 00:13:49 out to their parents, and they immediately got this home.
00:13:49 --> 00:13:53 And it's both sides of the street. When I was coming out, we didn't have numbers
00:13:53 --> 00:13:55 like 988. We didn't have numbers like the Trevor Project.
00:13:56 --> 00:13:58 It's slowly growing some good momentum.
00:13:59 --> 00:14:03 But in today's day and age, a lot of us are getting that rug pulled out from
00:14:03 --> 00:14:07 underneath us. And just having these numbers available helps everybody.
00:14:07 --> 00:14:09 Like I said, I create a safety checklist.
00:14:10 --> 00:14:13 Okay, these are three numbers that I can call if I'm in crisis.
00:14:13 --> 00:14:17 These are three numbers I can call if I'm just not sure if I'm in crisis and
00:14:17 --> 00:14:19 I don't know where to turn.
00:14:19 --> 00:14:23 These are three numbers of somebody I can reach out to that's not a crisis hotline,
00:14:24 --> 00:14:26 but they're a friend that will understand.
00:14:26 --> 00:14:30 And having those numbers readily available, like I said, on a fridge or on the
00:14:30 --> 00:14:36 washing machine, take to your bedroom door, having that readily available makes
00:14:36 --> 00:14:38 it so much easier to open up.
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00:15:49 --> 00:15:52 I just want to clarify that you keep numbers on your washing machine.
00:15:52 --> 00:15:55 Can we talk about that for a second? Yeah, on a magnet. Okay.
00:15:56 --> 00:15:59 Okay. All right. Okay. Listen, I'm short. Like, okay.
00:16:00 --> 00:16:03 Like, my wife can't see what I've been on the washing machine,
00:16:03 --> 00:16:05 but me, it's the perfect height.
00:16:05 --> 00:16:08 Okay. All right. I got it. Just seemed a little unorthodox, not judging,
00:16:08 --> 00:16:11 just clarifying. That's all. You're fine.
00:16:11 --> 00:16:17 So I want to talk about this notion of coming out and how challenging it can be.
00:16:18 --> 00:16:21 Since you and I have both been there, I've had a child who's come out to me.
00:16:22 --> 00:16:24 I've come out to my family. You've had the same experience.
00:16:25 --> 00:16:30 We were both very, very fortunate to have had unconditional love and support.
00:16:30 --> 00:16:31 A lot of people have that.
00:16:32 --> 00:16:38 And I would say most people don't have quite that kind of a fortunate situation.
00:16:39 --> 00:16:44 So I think a lot of the people who are listening to us and our podcast are probably
00:16:44 --> 00:16:48 the parents of those people, those young people who might be struggling with
00:16:48 --> 00:16:50 identity and sexuality.
00:16:50 --> 00:16:53 And so just know if you're listening to this and you have a child,
00:16:53 --> 00:16:56 I've had a lot of conversations lately with people who have reached out to me,
00:16:56 --> 00:17:00 just people I know either personally or through other people,
00:17:00 --> 00:17:01 and they've reached out because they know my story.
00:17:01 --> 00:17:06 And they say, you know, I have a child who's struggling. What do I do? How do I help?
00:17:06 --> 00:17:11 One of the things that I want people to know about lifelines like Trevor Project
00:17:11 --> 00:17:13 in particular, since this is pride and that's what we're talking about,
00:17:14 --> 00:17:18 You can call, if you're the parent of a child or you know a young person who's
00:17:18 --> 00:17:21 struggling, you can do what's called a third-party call.
00:17:21 --> 00:17:28 You can call on behalf of your child or a family member or a friend and you
00:17:28 --> 00:17:30 can say, hey, listen, this is who I am.
00:17:30 --> 00:17:33 This is who I'm calling for and I'm stuck.
00:17:33 --> 00:17:37 I need some help. They need some guidance. We're looking for some resources
00:17:37 --> 00:17:42 and we'll put you in touch with the resources that you need.
00:17:42 --> 00:17:46 We'll connect you with the resources and the support that you need or the language that you need.
00:17:47 --> 00:17:49 For instance, The Trevor Project happens to have something called The Coming
00:17:49 --> 00:17:55 Out Handbook, which is free and it's available on their website at thetrevorproject.org.
00:17:55 --> 00:18:01 And it gives you language that you can actually pull from this handbook and
00:18:01 --> 00:18:07 use in real life conversations with family members that can help guide you and role play a little bit.
00:18:07 --> 00:18:13 So if you call us as a third party call, again, all of our calls are completely
00:18:13 --> 00:18:17 confidential and they're as anonymous as you want them to be.
00:18:17 --> 00:18:18 You don't have to give us your real name.
00:18:18 --> 00:18:23 We're not asking you for your address or your last name, but you have the ability
00:18:23 --> 00:18:30 to reach out to organizations like Trevor who specialize in this kind of help in particular.
00:18:30 --> 00:18:35 So if you're feeling like, oh my God, you know, the person in my life is really,
00:18:35 --> 00:18:38 really struggling and I'm not equipped to handle what they're going through
00:18:38 --> 00:18:43 in those questions, you can call on their behalf or you can help them to call themselves.
00:18:43 --> 00:18:49 Just remember that. I love that. And one thing I want to add is if you know
00:18:49 --> 00:18:54 somebody that you think that they are gay, lesbian, trans.
00:18:54 --> 00:18:59 Non-binary, whatever, and you are pressuring them to come out, stop.
00:18:59 --> 00:19:03 Because people need to come out in their own way.
00:19:03 --> 00:19:08 The more you pressure them, the worse you're going to feel. There are.
00:19:08 --> 00:19:14 People's genetic makeup and their mental makeup is to be completely different than yours.
00:19:14 --> 00:19:21 But it's conversations like that that make people think that maybe the world's not meant for me.
00:19:21 --> 00:19:26 And that's how that leads to a lot of suicides, a lot of suicide attempts.
00:19:26 --> 00:19:32 It gets people to shut down and just let people come out at their own pace.
00:19:32 --> 00:19:35 Do not pressure them. That's a great point. The best way to think about that
00:19:35 --> 00:19:38 is meet the person exactly where they are.
00:19:38 --> 00:19:43 Wherever they are on that continuum is entirely their prerogative.
00:19:43 --> 00:19:48 If they're not ready, if they're nervous, if they only feel like they're comfortable
00:19:48 --> 00:19:53 talking to one or two people who are super close to them, let it happen the
00:19:53 --> 00:19:55 way that it's going to happen comfortably for them.
00:19:55 --> 00:19:59 Otherwise, it's going to be an incredibly negative experience.
00:19:59 --> 00:20:04 And that negativity will stay with them for the rest of their life in one way or another.
00:20:05 --> 00:20:10 I've had probably 10 or 15 people come out to me in their lifetime,
00:20:10 --> 00:20:11 different phases of life.
00:20:12 --> 00:20:15 Some were really super excited about it, and some people were terrified.
00:20:15 --> 00:20:19 They were like, what's going to happen with work, and how do I hide this? And I'm like, you don't.
00:20:20 --> 00:20:23 Okay, show up at who you are.
00:20:23 --> 00:20:27 Show up how you're comfortable in your own skin. I know that's terrifying right
00:20:27 --> 00:20:29 now, but show up as who you are.
00:20:29 --> 00:20:32 And even for me we would normally go to
00:20:32 --> 00:20:35 pride in the city but i'm not going to do that this year
00:20:35 --> 00:20:39 there's other things i can do local like wear my beautiful pride shirt i'm going
00:20:39 --> 00:20:44 to wear this all month long show up for your local community show up for the
00:20:44 --> 00:20:47 kids in your community show up for the adults in your community show up for
00:20:47 --> 00:20:52 your trans friends in the community and and the fact that we have to have a month just for the.
00:20:53 --> 00:20:58 Yeah, LGBTQIA plus community is tough enough as it is.
00:20:59 --> 00:21:04 Like until you've had your organization fought for in a Supreme Court to have
00:21:04 --> 00:21:09 a certain right, you have absolutely no idea what's happening with us.
00:21:09 --> 00:21:12 I know. Just be nice. Can we all be a little kinder, please?
00:21:13 --> 00:21:18 Yep, yep, yep. And you said a certain word a few times, and I want to dial into
00:21:18 --> 00:21:20 that word. You said community.
00:21:20 --> 00:21:26 But I want to take that word for a second in the context of the people who are struggling to come out.
00:21:27 --> 00:21:32 People who know who they are but are afraid to show that to the world. I've been that person.
00:21:32 --> 00:21:36 You've been that person to some degree. And the one thing to remember is that,
00:21:37 --> 00:21:41 yes, okay, in some cases, depending on who you are, where you come from, there's a lot at stake.
00:21:41 --> 00:21:47 There may be a lot on the line. There may be religious beliefs that impact your decision.
00:21:47 --> 00:21:50 There may be, like you said, you're afraid to come out at work or you're afraid
00:21:50 --> 00:21:53 of losing friends or you're afraid of being disowned by your family.
00:21:53 --> 00:21:57 Like there are a million different reasons why people hesitate or completely
00:21:57 --> 00:22:02 abandon coming out altogether. Remember one thing, and this is the word that you said, community.
00:22:03 --> 00:22:08 You will gain far more than you will ever, ever lose by being authentically
00:22:08 --> 00:22:10 who you are in this world.
00:22:10 --> 00:22:13 It actually just got me choked up. It brings me to tears.
00:22:13 --> 00:22:18 As a mom, and I know that not all moms will react this way, everybody is different.
00:22:18 --> 00:22:23 When my daughter came out to us, it was, to this day, one of my proudest moments
00:22:23 --> 00:22:26 as a parent to know that my child.
00:22:27 --> 00:22:30 Could come because we talked about it after the fact, after she came out.
00:22:30 --> 00:22:33 We said, you know, you weren't nervous at all, were you? She said,
00:22:33 --> 00:22:36 I'm absolutely not nervous to tell you.
00:22:36 --> 00:22:41 I was just anxious to say it out in the world out loud for the first time.
00:22:41 --> 00:22:46 She knew that she could come to us and be supportive. She knew that no matter
00:22:46 --> 00:22:49 what, she would be loved and respected and valued.
00:22:50 --> 00:22:54 And so that was my proudest moment, I think, as a mom, to have my child know
00:22:54 --> 00:22:58 that she felt safe with us and that she could share that intimate part of herself.
00:22:58 --> 00:23:01 So, okay, there are people who will react the way that Dave and I did,
00:23:01 --> 00:23:05 and there'll be people who don't, and there'll be people who will unfortunately
00:23:05 --> 00:23:09 make the huge mistake of disowning their children or alienating their children.
00:23:10 --> 00:23:13 And okay, to those, or people who are being cut off and disowned,
00:23:14 --> 00:23:17 I'll say, it sucks. And I'm so sorry that you have to go through that.
00:23:17 --> 00:23:19 And gee, I know you're so sorry that they have to go through that.
00:23:20 --> 00:23:24 What you will gain though, and the community, the queer community that you will
00:23:24 --> 00:23:31 gain will overshadow in time everything that you may feel like you're losing in that moment.
00:23:31 --> 00:23:36 And the self-respect and gift that you give to yourself, like,
00:23:36 --> 00:23:38 there are no words for that. I love that.
00:23:38 --> 00:23:42 And like, there's one other organization that I just want to kind of bring up
00:23:42 --> 00:23:44 and it's called Free Mom Hugs, right?
00:23:45 --> 00:23:50 Yep. There's a ton of pride parades, pride things going on this month.
00:23:50 --> 00:23:54 If you happen to be in the neighborhood and you feel the same way that Lisa
00:23:54 --> 00:23:57 and I do about our community, volunteer.
00:23:57 --> 00:24:03 Go give a kid a hug. Because like I said, being part of the LGBTQIA plus community
00:24:03 --> 00:24:09 right now, really hard and we're all really struggling to make it through day to day.
00:24:09 --> 00:24:14 But sometimes that hug, like a hug is probably one of the best things you can do.
00:24:15 --> 00:24:21 And I get a little teary because I know what it feels like to be loved and have that.
00:24:21 --> 00:24:25 I was fortunate. Yeah, I know, I know. And I'm really glad that you brought
00:24:25 --> 00:24:29 up free mom hugs because I'm part of the Massachusetts chapter of free mom hugs.
00:24:29 --> 00:24:34 And every year at Pride, one of the things that I love the most about going
00:24:34 --> 00:24:39 to Pride as a mom is not just representing my community and supporting my child
00:24:39 --> 00:24:44 and being out there myself, but I have the shirt that I, you know, free mom hugs.
00:24:44 --> 00:24:47 And I give out hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of hugs.
00:24:48 --> 00:24:52 I have people coming at me from all sides. They don't know me. I don't know them.
00:24:52 --> 00:24:57 And it is the most beautiful part of being out and celebrating pride.
00:24:57 --> 00:25:01 And I've had people just collapse in tears in my arms, and I'm sure you have
00:25:01 --> 00:25:07 too, because they don't have that from the people that they need it from the most.
00:25:07 --> 00:25:12 So look, this whole conversation is to say that it is Pride Month.
00:25:12 --> 00:25:15 We are celebrating. We are staying strong.
00:25:16 --> 00:25:19 We are staying positive. We are moving forward. And we're also acknowledging
00:25:19 --> 00:25:24 that it is hard. It's hard. And you may struggle in one way or another.
00:25:24 --> 00:25:28 You may know someone else who struggles because, you know, OK, it's Pride Month.
00:25:28 --> 00:25:32 But what we deal with in the queer community, we are dealing with it 12 months
00:25:32 --> 00:25:35 a year. We just get to be a little bit more colorful during the month of June,
00:25:36 --> 00:25:39 but we are... Rainbows and unicorns.
00:25:39 --> 00:25:45 Yeah, yeah. But we're here amplifying Pride Month, doing our part to amplify
00:25:45 --> 00:25:51 not only the beauty of Pride Month, but also amplifying the fact that it is
00:25:51 --> 00:25:54 still really hard, wrapped up in all the joy.
00:25:54 --> 00:25:57 This is one of those times where sadness and joy can coexist.
00:25:57 --> 00:26:01 And we want you to remember that you're not alone.
00:26:01 --> 00:26:06 I mean, look, G and I want people, we are encouraging people,
00:26:06 --> 00:26:15 go to the survivors.net and hit us up, slide into our DM, send us a voice memo, send us an email.
00:26:15 --> 00:26:19 If you need some extra help, some extra support, someone to listen to you,
00:26:19 --> 00:26:24 some extra resources, let us know we have these things in our back pocket that
00:26:24 --> 00:26:25 we want to share with you.
00:26:25 --> 00:26:30 And we want to keep this conversation going because it's so important that people
00:26:30 --> 00:26:33 who may be struggling during Pride, and a lot of people will be,
00:26:33 --> 00:26:37 need you to know that resources and support and your community is out there
00:26:37 --> 00:26:39 ready to have your back all the time.
00:26:40 --> 00:26:43 Thank you. What a perfect way to end this conversation. Happy Pride.
00:26:43 --> 00:26:47 Happy Pride. I'll see you next week. Okay. Love you, Chi. Love you.
00:26:47 --> 00:26:52 Thanks for joining us on The Survivors. Remember, no matter how tough things feel, you are enough.
00:26:53 --> 00:26:56 And the world needs you just the way you are. You're not alone in this journey.
00:26:57 --> 00:27:01 There's a community here, and every step forward counts. We're so grateful you
00:27:01 --> 00:27:04 took the time to listen, and we hope you'll take one day at a time.
00:27:04 --> 00:27:06 Just know there's always more light ahead.
00:27:07 --> 00:27:12 Thanks for being here, friends. Just remember, help is out there in so many different places.
00:27:13 --> 00:27:16 So if you or someone you know is struggling, please call 988,
00:27:16 --> 00:27:19 and a trained crisis counselor like me will be there to help.
00:27:19 --> 00:27:23 You can also find an inclusive and comprehensive directory of mental health
00:27:23 --> 00:27:27 resources, tools, and content at thehelphub.co.
00:27:27 --> 00:27:31 Just remember that help is always just a call or a click away.
00:27:31 --> 00:27:34 We'll catch you next week. In the meantime, keep surviving.

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