*WARNING: This podcast mentions suicide, sexual abuse & trauma and may be triggering.
Episode Summary
In this conversation, Lisa Sugarman and Natasha J. Layton discuss the emotional and mental toll of post-holiday burnout, reflecting on how the transition into the new year can feel overwhelming. They explore the importance of recognizing burnout, the power of intentions and words, and the necessity of self-care.
The discussion emphasizes the need to prioritize well-being, learn to say no, and create a mindset of relaxation and reset for January. The conversation concludes with key takeaways for listeners to navigate their own experiences of burnout and emotional fatigue.
Episode Sponsored by The HelpHUB™
Struggling with your mental health? Feeling lost, overwhelmed, or just alone? Well, you're not. Welcome to The HelpHUB™—your online destination for mental health resources, treatment options, content, and tools to help meet you exactly where you are in the moment. Visit TheHelpHUB.co to get started.
Takeaways
- Burnout is a common experience after the holidays.
- It's important to acknowledge feelings of exhaustion and flatness.
- Setting intentions for the new year can be more effective than resolutions.
- The word of the year can help focus your goals.
- Saying no is a powerful tool for managing burnout.
- Recognizing the signs of burnout is crucial for self-care.
- Prioritizing self-care is not a weakness, but a necessity.
- January should be a time for relaxation and reset.
- Surviving the holiday season takes a toll on mental health.
- Listening to your body is essential for well-being.
Chapters
00:00 Reflecting on Time and Change 02:46 Navigating Post-Holiday Burnout 06:09 The Power of Intentions and Words 08:57 Understanding Burnout and Its Triggers 11:58 Recognizing Signs of Burnout 14:59 The Importance of Saying No 17:42 Prioritizing Self-Care and Well-Being 20:47 Creating a Relax and Reset Mindset 23:50 Takeaways and Moving Forward
Mental Health Resources
- If you or someone you know is struggling, please call 988 for help.
- The Survivors Podcast Website – https://thesurvivors.net/
- The HelpHUB™ – Mental health resources, tools, and support networks – https://www.thehelphub.co/
- National Domestic Violence Hotline – Call 1-800-799-SAFE (7223)
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See you next week! In the meantime, keep surviving.
00:00:00 --> 00:00:04 Hey friends, before we dive into this week's episode, just a heads up.
00:00:05 --> 00:00:09 Our podcast talks about suicide, sexual abuse, and other trauma,
00:00:09 --> 00:00:13 and some of what you hear may be triggering. So please listen with care.
00:00:13 --> 00:00:18 This is The Survivors, real stories, raw conversations, and the truth about
00:00:18 --> 00:00:21 what it means to keep going after the hardest things.
00:00:21 --> 00:00:24 We're so glad you're here. Let's keep surviving together.
00:00:26 --> 00:00:29 So can you believe it's like second week in January?
00:00:31 --> 00:00:34 2026 is that a little ridiculous i i
00:00:34 --> 00:00:38 think somebody needs to take their friggin finger off of
00:00:38 --> 00:00:41 the fast forward button because how has it been six
00:00:41 --> 00:00:44 years since the vid happened i don't
00:00:44 --> 00:00:47 know that's what blows my mind i don't know
00:00:47 --> 00:00:51 i wish i knew i wish i knew how
00:00:51 --> 00:00:55 much the world has changed in the last six years yeah i know i'm choosing not
00:00:55 --> 00:00:59 to think about that in this moment if it's all the same to you trying to you
00:00:59 --> 00:01:02 know survive and everything else at this moment i don't want to have to survive
00:01:02 --> 00:01:09 the memory and the trauma of that too god but i do i do i do think,
00:01:10 --> 00:01:15 it could be an interesting conversation if we talked about the thing that i
00:01:15 --> 00:01:18 think so many people are dealing with like i know you and i have been talking
00:01:18 --> 00:01:20 about this a lot lately and,
00:01:21 --> 00:01:25 If we really call out the fact that, okay, big push, got through the holidays,
00:01:26 --> 00:01:28 here we are, top of the new year, right?
00:01:28 --> 00:01:33 Everybody's all energized, everybody's good to go, let's just nail it.
00:01:34 --> 00:01:39 And yet, everybody's exhausted and unmotivated and totally emotionally flat
00:01:39 --> 00:01:44 right now, now that they've hit the new year, or like totally tapped out.
00:01:44 --> 00:01:48 And I just, can we talk about that, please?
00:01:48 --> 00:01:52 Absolutely, absolutely. it is a very real thing to
00:01:52 --> 00:01:55 to feel the burnout because you're just you're going and
00:01:55 --> 00:01:58 going and going like we talked about before
00:01:58 --> 00:02:03 where the holidays are supposed to be this joyous thing and it's really not
00:02:03 --> 00:02:11 the joy of christmas is gone and it's all about surviving it now and what that
00:02:11 --> 00:02:14 does to our psyche as a human being and then we get on the other side of it
00:02:14 --> 00:02:17 in january and then And we look back and we're like, oh, my Lord.
00:02:18 --> 00:02:20 Did we really even get to enjoy that?
00:02:21 --> 00:02:24 Yeah, because now you're paying all the bills and you're doing all the emotional
00:02:24 --> 00:02:27 cleanup and you're trying to get back into a rhythm because everybody's off
00:02:27 --> 00:02:32 their routine for, what, weeks leading up to that.
00:02:32 --> 00:02:34 And you're supposed to just snap into the holiday with, like,
00:02:34 --> 00:02:41 all this renewed intention and your whole list of New Year's resolutions.
00:02:41 --> 00:02:46 And I feel like most people that I talk to are just like, leave me alone.
00:02:46 --> 00:02:49 I don't want to do anything. I don't have any capacity for anything else.
00:02:49 --> 00:02:53 And I feel like it's really important that you and I acknowledge the fact that
00:02:53 --> 00:02:55 that does not mean someone's broken or doing it wrong.
00:02:56 --> 00:03:00 Right. You're not, and you're totally not alone because I know you and I have
00:03:00 --> 00:03:02 been like messaging each other
00:03:02 --> 00:03:07 a lot lately and talking a lot lately about just how spent we both are.
00:03:08 --> 00:03:11 And I wish it wasn't that way. I would love to just kind of round into the new
00:03:11 --> 00:03:18 year and feel like super engaged and like let's go but it's just not there's
00:03:18 --> 00:03:22 just an emotional drop I think and you know,
00:03:22 --> 00:03:27 All of a sudden, you don't have to show up in the way that you did for those
00:03:27 --> 00:03:30 weeks and months leading up to the holidays.
00:03:31 --> 00:03:35 And now it's like, what do you do now? How do you settle back in now?
00:03:36 --> 00:03:41 So, I don't know. I just feel like. And, too, you know, with people like us
00:03:41 --> 00:03:44 that not only are we first and foremost, are we parents?
00:03:45 --> 00:03:49 But we show up at other things that we are working on behind the scenes that
00:03:49 --> 00:03:51 most people don't know about.
00:03:51 --> 00:03:58 Our podcast for example you know this takes time and energy and we love doing it absolutely.
00:03:59 --> 00:04:02 You know but it's just what you know one more thing on our plate you
00:04:02 --> 00:04:05 know you've got the help hub i have my small business that
00:04:05 --> 00:04:10 i just recently launched you know and and we continue to add these things on
00:04:10 --> 00:04:14 you're a volunteer for the trevor project i've you know trying to launch my
00:04:14 --> 00:04:17 social media career through tiktok things like that and it's just like the things
00:04:17 --> 00:04:21 keep adding up and then And yet one day you just stop and you look,
00:04:21 --> 00:04:23 okay, something's got to give here.
00:04:23 --> 00:04:27 I cannot continue to do this or I'm going to crash and burn.
00:04:28 --> 00:04:31 Yeah. And I think everybody just slides into the new year.
00:04:31 --> 00:04:36 I know I have this intention when I hit the new year, wanting to just make sure
00:04:36 --> 00:04:40 everything's in balance and full steam ahead.
00:04:40 --> 00:04:47 And that's just like, you're in go mode. I feel like at least myself and,
00:04:47 --> 00:04:52 It's just, it becomes, I think, unrealistic to think that just because we've
00:04:52 --> 00:04:55 slid into the new year, that all of a sudden everything's just going to start
00:04:55 --> 00:04:57 clicking and firing the way that it needs to.
00:04:58 --> 00:05:03 Like, once the decorations come down and all that holiday, I guess,
00:05:04 --> 00:05:07 frenzy is gone, that you're just going to reset.
00:05:07 --> 00:05:11 And it doesn't work that way. Like, I don't think anybody accepts the fact that
00:05:11 --> 00:05:18 for most of the month of January, people are just, they're just empty in a lot of ways.
00:05:18 --> 00:05:21 And I kept hearing a lot of people, you know, towards the last few,
00:05:21 --> 00:05:24 you know, towards the new year, what are your New Year's resolutions, New Year's?
00:05:24 --> 00:05:27 And I'm like, I'm done with New Year's resolutions.
00:05:27 --> 00:05:32 Number one, nobody sticks with them. If you do, you're like the one person.
00:05:32 --> 00:05:37 And so I had heard another creator talk about like, what is your word of the
00:05:37 --> 00:05:40 year? I was like, I could do that. What is your work?
00:05:40 --> 00:05:45 Your one word that you're going to work towards for the year. And mine is rise.
00:05:46 --> 00:05:49 And what that means for me is that I've, you know, through this,
00:05:49 --> 00:05:51 what you and I have created together,
00:05:51 --> 00:05:53 what we're working on social media channels and things like that,
00:05:53 --> 00:05:58 is I feel like I'm able to rise and to step into my purpose in being a mental
00:05:58 --> 00:06:01 health advocate and being in this space.
00:06:01 --> 00:06:05 Because I had floundered for so many years not knowing where I was meant to
00:06:05 --> 00:06:07 be. And I finally found that.
00:06:07 --> 00:06:11 I love that. So I'm rising into my purpose. Oh, the second the word came out
00:06:11 --> 00:06:14 of your mouth, I'm like, well, that's a perfect word for you.
00:06:15 --> 00:06:18 I mean, it really is. It really, really is. I like that.
00:06:18 --> 00:06:25 I like the cutting loose of the expectation that we have to have this long list of resolutions.
00:06:25 --> 00:06:29 You're right. What is the statistic? It's like 78% of people blow off their
00:06:29 --> 00:06:32 resolution after the first 10 days of the holiday or something like that.
00:06:32 --> 00:06:35 Yep, yep. And I think it's so true. Two weeks or less.
00:06:35 --> 00:06:37 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. It's all this incredible pressure.
00:06:38 --> 00:06:42 And what I think we should do is just, I think the whole month of January should just be a mulligan.
00:06:42 --> 00:06:46 You know what I mean? Where it's just like a like a gimme where people just
00:06:46 --> 00:06:54 get to just kind of find their bearings again and and slowly get their priorities straight.
00:06:54 --> 00:06:58 I think this this whole idea of having resolutions, I've gone back and forth
00:06:58 --> 00:07:01 in my life where I'm like, OK, to have the resolutions, it's helpful.
00:07:01 --> 00:07:02 It can be like a guardrail.
00:07:02 --> 00:07:04 And other times where I'm like, that's bullshit.
00:07:06 --> 00:07:11 Why do we put that much pressure on ourselves? So I like the idea of a word.
00:07:11 --> 00:07:17 And I think if I had to come up with my own word, I think this would be the year of impact.
00:07:18 --> 00:07:20 Okay. Making an impact.
00:07:21 --> 00:07:25 And I don't just mean on other people's lives. I mean on my own life,
00:07:25 --> 00:07:28 too. Because I tend to forget that.
00:07:28 --> 00:07:33 Everything I tend to do is so outward facing. Like, how can I put content out
00:07:33 --> 00:07:35 in the world that helps people?
00:07:35 --> 00:07:41 How can I support the people out in my life who I care about and love or the
00:07:41 --> 00:07:43 communities that I'm part of?
00:07:43 --> 00:07:46 I also want to make an impact on my own life.
00:07:47 --> 00:07:52 I want to make changes, positive changes on my own life that serve me.
00:07:52 --> 00:07:55 So, yeah, I'm going to stick with the word impact for myself.
00:07:56 --> 00:07:59 I love that. I like our words.
00:07:59 --> 00:08:05 Yes. Why do you think, in your opinion, why do you think this sense of burnout
00:08:05 --> 00:08:07 hits so hard after the holidays?
00:08:09 --> 00:08:12 Well, number one, it's all the buildup of it.
00:08:12 --> 00:08:16 I think, you know, getting the presents for all the kids, making sure that the
00:08:16 --> 00:08:20 extended family, you know, getting making sure the house is decorated,
00:08:20 --> 00:08:24 attending the holiday parties, work, personal holiday parties.
00:08:24 --> 00:08:28 Like there is just so much on everybody's plate during the holidays.
00:08:28 --> 00:08:33 And I want to say particularly for the mothers, because it's up to the mothers
00:08:33 --> 00:08:35 oftentimes to make that time magical.
00:08:36 --> 00:08:42 Yeah, true. So true. Not to knock dads at all, because obviously they are all
00:08:42 --> 00:08:48 super involved also. But for a lot of us, we're the point people.
00:08:48 --> 00:08:52 We're the ones at home. We're the ones who are pulling it all together.
00:08:52 --> 00:08:58 And it's a lot. I feel like in some ways, January may even be,
00:08:58 --> 00:09:01 now that I'm feeling what I'm feeling this January, January might even feel
00:09:01 --> 00:09:03 even more stressful in some ways.
00:09:03 --> 00:09:06 Because there's this expectation that we
00:09:06 --> 00:09:12 have to just we have to just step out of the holidays and into like a whole
00:09:12 --> 00:09:19 brand new renewed routine and I'm feeling the stress of that actually for the
00:09:19 --> 00:09:21 first yeah I am I'm kind of realizing
00:09:21 --> 00:09:26 it as the words are coming out of my mouth that I I don't know I I.
00:09:27 --> 00:09:33 I guess maybe I have this, I do have this long laundry list of things that I
00:09:33 --> 00:09:41 would love to accomplish this year, and I want to have all the energy and enthusiasm to do it.
00:09:41 --> 00:09:46 But I mean, and you know this offline that a lot of other people don't know that I've had things,
00:09:46 --> 00:09:50 you know, some personal things that have been going on behind the scenes that
00:09:50 --> 00:09:55 have taken a tremendous amount of time and emotional energy,
00:09:55 --> 00:09:59 just family related things, caring for parents who are getting older,
00:10:00 --> 00:10:04 being, I feel like I've been on an airplane the last two months more than I've been anywhere.
00:10:05 --> 00:10:11 I realized yesterday when I was talking to Dave, I had just gotten home from another trip.
00:10:11 --> 00:10:14 And after the trip I had just gotten home from before that one.
00:10:15 --> 00:10:16 And so I realized I hadn't.
00:10:18 --> 00:10:22 An entire, yeah, an entire month. I mean, I'm still doing my work.
00:10:22 --> 00:10:25 I'm just, thank God for mobile technology, but I'm still doing it all.
00:10:26 --> 00:10:34 I'm just doing it in airports and, you know, using Wi-Fi in the air and doing
00:10:34 --> 00:10:38 it, you know, sleeping on someone's pullout couch at my in-laws or, you know what I mean?
00:10:38 --> 00:10:46 And so I guess this year, I kind of wanted to start the new year off feeling
00:10:46 --> 00:10:52 really, really steady and in control of what I was doing. And it's been so fragmented for me.
00:10:53 --> 00:10:56 That's what, okay, that's what I'm, this is a very valuable conversation for
00:10:56 --> 00:11:00 me. I'm kind of working through it all while we're talking. So it's really helpful. Thank you.
00:11:01 --> 00:11:04 But yeah, I guess that's why I felt like a little discombobulated because I've
00:11:04 --> 00:11:06 been so all over the place.
00:11:06 --> 00:11:10 You know, we were out of the country for a couple weeks. I was away from home
00:11:10 --> 00:11:13 a couple weeks before that. I just left again last week.
00:11:13 --> 00:11:18 I'm leaving again this week. So it's just been kind of jumbled.
00:11:18 --> 00:11:22 And I think that's just been adding to the fact that I feel a little extra burnt
00:11:22 --> 00:11:26 out. I mean, I'm not going to lie. I've kind of been like, I'm going to staple you to your floor.
00:11:26 --> 00:11:29 I know. Don't slow down. Every time you and I talk, you're like,
00:11:29 --> 00:11:30 what city are you in? Where?
00:11:31 --> 00:11:35 Where are you? Girl, get your butt in your chair.
00:11:35 --> 00:11:40 Yeah, I know. It's not for lack of trying, but, you know, I don't know.
00:11:41 --> 00:11:43 I think burnout's an interesting thing.
00:11:44 --> 00:11:47 Burnout is definitely an interesting thing in general, but I think this time
00:11:47 --> 00:11:52 of year it's an especially interesting thing because we expect to be so rejuvenated
00:11:52 --> 00:11:57 after the holiday and the break and the time with family and friends if we're lucky.
00:11:58 --> 00:12:03 And yet it just sucks the life out of you in a lot of ways. It really does.
00:12:03 --> 00:12:08 And like I said, I've had a lot of stuff going on behind the curtain that has
00:12:08 --> 00:12:10 also been very emotionally draining.
00:12:11 --> 00:12:13 But I think that.
00:12:14 --> 00:12:18 We have to just make space for it. We have to just, I'm just getting to the
00:12:18 --> 00:12:20 point now in my life where whatever it is that I'm feeling, whatever it is that
00:12:20 --> 00:12:24 I'm going through or what I'm navigating, like I'm just there for it.
00:12:24 --> 00:12:29 I don't have time to push back. I don't have the energy anymore to fight whatever it is.
00:12:29 --> 00:12:33 If I'm feeling lazy or if I'm feeling burnt or if I'm feeling,
00:12:33 --> 00:12:36 you know, like I'm not getting enough done,
00:12:36 --> 00:12:41 I'm just kind of letting myself sit with that yeah i
00:12:41 --> 00:12:45 think that's a really yeah that's a really good idea and you
00:12:45 --> 00:12:48 know i think one of the biggest things that contributes to
00:12:48 --> 00:12:50 to burnout is you know somebody comes to us or a
00:12:50 --> 00:12:54 situation arises and you know gets one more thing that we can handle like yeah
00:12:54 --> 00:12:58 we got it we got it yeah and then that happens over and over and over and you're
00:12:58 --> 00:13:02 just like yeah i've got it i've got it i've got it i've got it got it and then
00:13:02 --> 00:13:08 you're up to here and you don't got it yeah and so i Really,
00:13:08 --> 00:13:15 I feel like an important thing that can help with the burnout is no is a one-word sentence. Yeah.
00:13:16 --> 00:13:21 Yeah, yeah. Sorry, you know, and you don't even have to be sorry.
00:13:22 --> 00:13:26 If you don't have the mental capacity for it, don't do it.
00:13:27 --> 00:13:32 And that is learning also to prioritize in your case where you've had to put
00:13:32 --> 00:13:37 work and stuff on the back burner because family comes first for you.
00:13:37 --> 00:13:38 And absolutely that should.
00:13:39 --> 00:13:45 And that's okay. Learning to prioritize and learning the word no.
00:13:45 --> 00:13:49 Yeah, that was not a word that was really part of my vocabulary for the better
00:13:49 --> 00:13:52 part of my young adult and adult life.
00:13:52 --> 00:13:56 I mean, honestly, it's real. I've worked really hard on using that word in therapy.
00:13:57 --> 00:14:00 And I think, and you and I have talked about this before,
00:14:00 --> 00:14:07 in terms of boundaries, it's become the single biggest change I think I've made
00:14:07 --> 00:14:12 in my life is learning how to say no and learning.
00:14:12 --> 00:14:16 Like right before I hit record, you and I were talking about recognizing the
00:14:16 --> 00:14:21 signs that you're approaching burnout and trying to avoid the actual falling
00:14:21 --> 00:14:26 into the burnout and being able to step back and say no or say I can't.
00:14:28 --> 00:14:33 And I'm doing that more in my life now. I've had a couple of projects recently
00:14:33 --> 00:14:36 where they were things that I very much wanted to do.
00:14:36 --> 00:14:38 I was very passionate about them.
00:14:39 --> 00:14:47 They were very time consuming. I was doing a lot of the work, and I had to say no.
00:14:47 --> 00:14:57 I had to say no for myself. And it really is not as hard as your brain makes it out to be.
00:14:58 --> 00:15:02 Like, things are always worse in our head before they're actually there in front
00:15:02 --> 00:15:04 of you, you know, when we anticipate something. And.
00:15:06 --> 00:15:13 I think for me, it's recognizing how to avoid burning out, especially in the
00:15:13 --> 00:15:19 new year, before I actually am in it, in the thick of it. It's not easy. It's not easy.
00:15:20 --> 00:15:23 Survival mode kicks in. What does that look like for you?
00:15:24 --> 00:15:32 How does survival fatigue or pre-burnout feel for you? What does that look like for you? Fatigue.
00:15:33 --> 00:15:37 Yeah. Where I am really, really tired, and it doesn't matter how much sleep
00:15:37 --> 00:15:41 I get, I just can't seem to get enough sleep.
00:15:42 --> 00:15:46 And I have a really hard time getting out of bed.
00:15:46 --> 00:15:50 Mentally, I feel like just everything feels really, really heavy.
00:15:51 --> 00:15:55 And even just the smallest thing where it's like if one more thing gets thrown
00:15:55 --> 00:15:59 in front of me, I'm going to lose my mind.
00:15:59 --> 00:16:05 And so, and I was going to ask you to expand on, because some people might not
00:16:05 --> 00:16:06 have experienced burnout.
00:16:06 --> 00:16:09 They might not even know what it is. And so I think maybe we should kind of
00:16:09 --> 00:16:14 like talk about like what that feels like to you, you know, where you're recognizing,
00:16:14 --> 00:16:17 okay, the burnout is coming, what it is for you.
00:16:18 --> 00:16:21 And then maybe some ways that we can manage that.
00:16:22 --> 00:16:26 Looking for mental health resources that actually fit who you are and where
00:16:26 --> 00:16:29 you come from? then you need to check out the help hub.
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00:16:34 --> 00:16:41 built for real people living real lives, people managing stress, anxiety, depression,
00:16:41 --> 00:16:46 trauma, and abuse, grief, or suicide loss at the help hub.
00:16:46 --> 00:16:50 You'll find the resources, tools, treatment options, and trauma informed content
00:16:50 --> 00:16:55 you need in the moment without having to dig through endless tabs or start from scratch.
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00:17:11 --> 00:17:15 Yeah, definitely. I think that for me, I mean, it can manifest in a lot of different
00:17:15 --> 00:17:19 ways physically. Like you just said, fatigue, tired.
00:17:20 --> 00:17:26 You just don't have the energy to do the normal things that you would do. Easily.
00:17:27 --> 00:17:30 That's one kind of signal to me.
00:17:30 --> 00:17:37 Emotionally, if I'm just feeling heavy, if maybe I tend to all of a sudden feel
00:17:37 --> 00:17:40 like I don't have the capacity to engage with people.
00:17:41 --> 00:17:45 Sometimes if I'm personal, I'm just speaking for myself, how it manifests in me.
00:17:45 --> 00:17:49 If I'm overwhelmed, I don't want to be around people.
00:17:49 --> 00:17:56 I don't feel comfortable engaging with people when I'm not okay in my own head.
00:17:57 --> 00:18:03 And a lot of the thing, I mean, anxiety, stress, I don't, I'm not a great sleeper
00:18:03 --> 00:18:07 to begin with, so no one should ever, ever gauge anything relating to sleep
00:18:07 --> 00:18:12 by me because I'm a terrible sleeper and it's not for lack of trying.
00:18:12 --> 00:18:20 But for me, if I'm overcome by something, if I'm on that tipping point where
00:18:20 --> 00:18:24 something's, you know, pushing me toward burnout, I'm going to be up at night.
00:18:24 --> 00:18:27 I'm going to be thinking about it. My mind is not going to shut off.
00:18:27 --> 00:18:28 I'm just going to be replaying something.
00:18:29 --> 00:18:33 And, you know, that's like that's self-perpetuating. The more you think about
00:18:33 --> 00:18:34 it, the more anxious you are.
00:18:34 --> 00:18:39 And that just keeps the cycle keeps increasing. So the things that you can do,
00:18:40 --> 00:18:44 are to prioritize. Like, you and I, perfect example,
00:18:44 --> 00:18:46 you and I are making a little bit of a New Year's adjustment to the show,
00:18:47 --> 00:18:51 which, I mean, I'm just deciding to talk about that now because it's fitting
00:18:51 --> 00:18:55 in this conversation that for a little bit of time going forward,
00:18:55 --> 00:18:58 we're not going to be releasing the YouTube version of our show.
00:18:59 --> 00:19:09 And the reason is because it is so unbelievably time-consuming to edit and produce these shows.
00:19:10 --> 00:19:14 And while we obviously always want people to be able to kind of see behind the
00:19:14 --> 00:19:20 curtain and see us and interact with us in that visual way, it was something
00:19:20 --> 00:19:23 that was kind of gnawing at me.
00:19:23 --> 00:19:25 I've been the one who's been producing the show for a long time.
00:19:25 --> 00:19:28 And while I love doing it, there just aren't enough hours in the day.
00:19:28 --> 00:19:32 And it was stressing me out. And you and I talked about it. And it became,
00:19:32 --> 00:19:36 okay, what are the pros and cons?
00:19:36 --> 00:19:43 And does one outweigh the other? And the pro was, if we just continue focusing
00:19:43 --> 00:19:47 on the audio of this, and we don't have to worry about doing this other big,
00:19:48 --> 00:19:49 huge, time-consuming piece,
00:19:49 --> 00:19:52 will that free up that space? Will that prevent burnout?
00:19:52 --> 00:19:56 Yes, it will. and you were just like, great, do it, do it. Absolutely.
00:19:56 --> 00:20:01 Right, and we talked about this, you and I, that it took a lot for me to say,
00:20:02 --> 00:20:06 hey, Nosh, listen, this is a lot and it's really weighing on me.
00:20:07 --> 00:20:12 And you knew that it took a lot for me to say that. And your immediate reaction
00:20:12 --> 00:20:13 was like, great, we're not doing it then.
00:20:14 --> 00:20:18 We're not doing it, it's as simple as that. And I wish you could have been there
00:20:18 --> 00:20:21 when I read your message, when you were just like, yeah, that sounds great.
00:20:21 --> 00:20:26 Okay, next question. You know, and I was just like, huh, like everything,
00:20:26 --> 00:20:27 my whole nervous system went down.
00:20:27 --> 00:20:32 It truly, it did. Like, I must have looked like such a dope because I was just
00:20:32 --> 00:20:36 like practically tearing up. I was so relieved.
00:20:36 --> 00:20:40 And so it's, I think it's about being preemptive. This is a big,
00:20:40 --> 00:20:43 long answer to your question. I think a lot of it is about...
00:20:44 --> 00:20:48 Listening to your body, listening to what your brain, the signals that your
00:20:48 --> 00:20:51 brain is giving you. And we're all different. We all get different messages.
00:20:51 --> 00:20:58 And it's paying attention and prioritizing ourselves and our well-being.
00:20:58 --> 00:21:02 Like you and I are hardwired to always, and this has nothing to do with being a mom.
00:21:02 --> 00:21:07 It's part of it, but it's not. Just you and I as human beings are wired very similarly.
00:21:07 --> 00:21:12 We think about all the other people first in our lives who we care about before
00:21:12 --> 00:21:13 we think about ourselves.
00:21:13 --> 00:21:19 So we would rather give up something ourselves or take on something ourselves than,
00:21:20 --> 00:21:24 have it go the other way and impact somebody we care about.
00:21:24 --> 00:21:30 So that's why we usually never say, stop, wait, too much, abort until it's too
00:21:30 --> 00:21:32 late, until we're already in that burnout phase.
00:21:32 --> 00:21:37 So I'm trying really hard to listen to my own signals. And I think it's important
00:21:37 --> 00:21:40 that everybody who's listening to this conversation does the same thing,
00:21:40 --> 00:21:42 because you're the only one who knows what your signals are.
00:21:43 --> 00:21:45 Right. Absolutely. And I've said it before.
00:21:46 --> 00:21:49 I've said it before, and you just barely said it listening to your
00:21:49 --> 00:21:53 body is the best thing that you can do for yourself and
00:21:53 --> 00:21:56 recognizing when it's like
00:21:56 --> 00:21:58 telling you hey no more i can't
00:21:58 --> 00:22:02 take it anymore and just nope i'm
00:22:02 --> 00:22:05 sorry i can't take that on right now whatever it
00:22:05 --> 00:22:08 is with your boss a co-worker a family member
00:22:08 --> 00:22:11 your children that is a big one you know
00:22:11 --> 00:22:14 when you've got something that your kids are really really want to do
00:22:14 --> 00:22:17 or whatever and i'm like i'm sorry
00:22:17 --> 00:22:20 a you know whether it was financially it was emotionally physically
00:22:20 --> 00:22:23 but yeah when i'm burned out too you mentioned it
00:22:23 --> 00:22:26 before where you don't want to be around other people and
00:22:26 --> 00:22:29 i'll tell you what if my if i'm not best friends with my
00:22:29 --> 00:22:32 bed that's really
00:22:32 --> 00:22:36 cute kind of disturbing but cute i'm like
00:22:36 --> 00:22:39 i come in and i'm like oh my my sweet friend
00:22:39 --> 00:22:42 yeah i know i know oh that's really cute and
00:22:42 --> 00:22:47 i'm just like i just yes that is my that is my safe space 100 and even better
00:22:47 --> 00:22:54 if my my husband's there where it's just like you know i have for me that's
00:22:54 --> 00:22:58 just like where i reset and then of course my husband and i've you know we've
00:22:58 --> 00:23:00 had it we got a comment on a video.
00:23:00 --> 00:23:03 A while back, we were like, we're talking about our husbands,
00:23:03 --> 00:23:07 and they were saying that we're codependent. I'm like, 100%. Oh, yeah.
00:23:07 --> 00:23:11 I remember that. Yeah, that conversation. Oh, 23 years.
00:23:11 --> 00:23:14 Yeah, I'm codependent. Do you know how long Dave and I have been together?
00:23:14 --> 00:23:18 It'll be 40 years. I know. Right? 40. I mean, 33.
00:23:19 --> 00:23:27 We're 33 married, but 40 years together. I am proudly codependent on Dave.
00:23:27 --> 00:23:30 And, I mean, we are very much our own unique.
00:23:31 --> 00:23:34 Humans and he has his life and i have my life but
00:23:34 --> 00:23:37 more important than that is our life that
00:23:37 --> 00:23:43 we have together and you know i i i didn't marry him so that i wouldn't spend
00:23:43 --> 00:23:46 my time with him you know what i mean like that's where that's where i want
00:23:46 --> 00:23:50 to be but yeah it's i have something funny i have to share with people if you
00:23:50 --> 00:23:56 want to know oh if you want to know if somebody is your space your safe space I.
00:23:57 --> 00:24:01 Oh my gosh, this is really embarrassing to say. It's okay, just go, go with it.
00:24:02 --> 00:24:06 So years, several years ago, every time I'd walk into George's office,
00:24:06 --> 00:24:09 I would be standing there in the doorway, we'd be chatting or whatever.
00:24:09 --> 00:24:12 And then all of a sudden I would feel the need to toot.
00:24:12 --> 00:24:16 Okay, yep. And every time, every time it was happening for months.
00:24:17 --> 00:24:21 And then I don't know how I found some research. And what it is,
00:24:21 --> 00:24:23 is when you're around somebody that your body feels safe.
00:24:24 --> 00:24:31 Yes, I've seen this. I've read the internal organs and things like that relax and you got it.
00:24:31 --> 00:24:37 And so because your organs and your bowels relax, then it's going to let out toot.
00:24:37 --> 00:24:41 I love that you call it toot. So if you're gassy around somebody a lot.
00:24:42 --> 00:24:45 They're a safe place for you to be.
00:24:45 --> 00:24:48 I love that you call it toot, first of all.
00:24:48 --> 00:24:54 Well, I call it something else much more vulgar, but of course you do. Of course you do.
00:24:54 --> 00:24:58 Just for our listeners out there, that's actually what I was raised to call
00:24:58 --> 00:25:01 it when we were growing up. We were not allowed to say the F word.
00:25:01 --> 00:25:07 Oh, the F word. That F word is my mother-in-law's least favorite word.
00:25:07 --> 00:25:12 The grandchildren would torment her by dropping that F word. Yeah.
00:25:13 --> 00:25:18 That ends in A-R-T. And I mean, yeah, I appreciate you censoring yourself for
00:25:18 --> 00:25:22 the purposes of our podcast. Thank you.
00:25:22 --> 00:25:25 Thank you. Oh, you know what else I read too? And this is true.
00:25:26 --> 00:25:32 And Dave, when you're listening to this episode, this is now an explanation of why I do this.
00:25:33 --> 00:25:37 So historically speaking, you know me, I'm super crazy early in the morning.
00:25:37 --> 00:25:39 You and I are very much opposite in that way.
00:25:39 --> 00:25:43 And I'm like up at 4 a.m. or 5 a.m. for the day. And, you know,
00:25:43 --> 00:25:46 then by 10, 11 o'clock at night, like legit, I'm tired.
00:25:47 --> 00:25:51 And I don't sleep very much. But, you know, for a few hours,
00:25:51 --> 00:25:53 I get like a bunch of solid sleep.
00:25:53 --> 00:25:58 But the point is, is that we will always start to watch something or do something at night.
00:25:58 --> 00:26:03 And I get overwhelmingly tired once I get into bed.
00:26:03 --> 00:26:08 But I read that the people who fall asleep in bed like that when they're with
00:26:08 --> 00:26:13 their significant other are doing that for the same reason that they're tooting around them.
00:26:13 --> 00:26:18 It's because your nervous system and everything is so comfortable with that person that...
00:26:19 --> 00:26:23 You're tired. So it's the same kind of thing.
00:26:23 --> 00:26:25 And by the way, my poor mother, she's probably listening to this because you
00:26:25 --> 00:26:27 know she listens to every episode.
00:26:27 --> 00:26:31 It also applies to when people yawn. My mom has somehow discovered that whenever
00:26:31 --> 00:26:34 she and I are on the phone together, I yawn uncontrollably.
00:26:34 --> 00:26:37 And I don't think that happens with anybody else, but mom, it's because I love
00:26:37 --> 00:26:39 you the most. Okay? That's why.
00:26:39 --> 00:26:41 And most relaxed with her. Yeah.
00:26:42 --> 00:26:49 Yeah. So, all right, back to the whole New Year's feeling burnt out.
00:26:50 --> 00:26:55 You know, losing momentum when we feel like we kind of should be gaining momentum.
00:26:55 --> 00:26:59 Okay, what if we just, what if you and I made a pact and then we agreed with
00:26:59 --> 00:27:01 everybody who's listening, everybody makes the same pact.
00:27:02 --> 00:27:07 Let's stop pushing for all this momentum once we round into January.
00:27:08 --> 00:27:11 Let's just, if you're tired, be tired. If you need to recover,
00:27:12 --> 00:27:13 recover. You don't have to impress anybody.
00:27:14 --> 00:27:19 You've gone through that really demanding part of the year. Give yourself a beat.
00:27:20 --> 00:27:26 Don't worry about all the expectations and just let the beginning of the year
00:27:26 --> 00:27:30 be what the beginning of the year is going to be so that you feel like you can manage it.
00:27:30 --> 00:27:38 Is that? Well, yes, I agree. And I think actually what January should be is relax and reset. Great.
00:27:38 --> 00:27:42 That's the month of January. Relax and reset. I like it.
00:27:42 --> 00:27:47 You just survived a full sprint of the holidays because there's Halloween,
00:27:47 --> 00:27:49 then there's Thanksgiving, then there's Christmas and there's New Year's.
00:27:49 --> 00:27:52 In 90 days it is a full new
00:27:52 --> 00:27:56 it's a it's a sprint every year yeah so how about
00:27:56 --> 00:27:59 january relax and reset and maybe in
00:27:59 --> 00:28:01 february we're just like okay let's assess a
00:28:01 --> 00:28:05 few things dial it up a little bit yeah and let's not forget you're just talking
00:28:05 --> 00:28:09 about the holiday season october through december what about all the other months
00:28:09 --> 00:28:13 before that that you're surviving if you're a parent you have kids in school
00:28:13 --> 00:28:19 it's the school year and it's the summer break and it's let's face it it's like life is busy, period.
00:28:20 --> 00:28:25 Hard stop. And then you're into that sprint of the, you know, the holiday season.
00:28:25 --> 00:28:28 So, I mean, if you're tired right now, if you're listening to this and it's
00:28:28 --> 00:28:31 like, you know, early middle January and you're just dog tired,
00:28:32 --> 00:28:36 being burnt out is not a character flaw.
00:28:36 --> 00:28:40 It's your body and your mind just being like, I need some time.
00:28:41 --> 00:28:44 Just don't, don't be hard on yourself.
00:28:44 --> 00:28:47 Just give yourself what you need you don't have to catch up you
00:28:47 --> 00:28:50 don't like you don't have to be
00:28:50 --> 00:28:54 on the move just like natasha said rest and
00:28:54 --> 00:28:57 reset right yeah because
00:28:57 --> 00:29:00 you don't want to reach the point when which your body's like take me
00:29:00 --> 00:29:05 out of the game coach i'm dying i know i know and it's just over there and so
00:29:05 --> 00:29:10 yeah just be like oh yep things are piling up we're gonna say no we're going
00:29:10 --> 00:29:15 to sit on our couch we're going to binge watch whatever it is for a week or
00:29:15 --> 00:29:20 two and just relax yeah and spend some time you know if your kids are right there,
00:29:21 --> 00:29:26 You're spending time together. It's literally the quality time is the proximity.
00:29:27 --> 00:29:32 Right. No, that's true. That's absolutely true. So we like to do takeaways.
00:29:32 --> 00:29:37 We like people to have at least something they can take from this podcast and
00:29:37 --> 00:29:41 maybe using the day-to-day. So here's some takeaways.
00:29:43 --> 00:29:49 Burnout. We just spent 29 minutes talking about New Year burnout or holiday burnout.
00:29:49 --> 00:29:54 It shows up after the hard part of the year ends, totally normal.
00:29:54 --> 00:29:59 Don't think you failed. You haven't. Feeling depleted does not mean you did anything wrong.
00:30:00 --> 00:30:03 It just means you survived, right? And that's what this whole podcast is about.
00:30:03 --> 00:30:05 Whatever it is that we're talking about, at the end of the day,
00:30:05 --> 00:30:10 no matter what it is that you and I talk about, it's about surviving that thing, right?
00:30:11 --> 00:30:14 So we all just survived it because here we are. It's January.
00:30:15 --> 00:30:20 And again, January doesn't have to be about reinvention. It's about rest.
00:30:20 --> 00:30:22 It's about relaxing. It's about recovering.
00:30:22 --> 00:30:26 And slowing down is a choice you get to make.
00:30:26 --> 00:30:29 It's not a weakness. Doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong.
00:30:29 --> 00:30:34 It means you're actually being smart and you're giving yourself what you need.
00:30:35 --> 00:30:40 And in most cases, I think that's what we all need. I know that's what I need for damn sure.
00:30:41 --> 00:30:44 Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Couldn't have said it better myself.
00:30:45 --> 00:30:48 Well, thanks for listening, you guys. If you're out there and you're listening,
00:30:48 --> 00:30:52 We appreciate it, as always, just spending a half an hour with us.
00:30:52 --> 00:30:58 We're going to be back next week to talk about when the joy that we feel as
00:30:58 --> 00:31:04 people who have survived something, whatever it is, some kind of trauma, feels complicated.
00:31:04 --> 00:31:08 Because I know you and I have talked about this in the past,
00:31:08 --> 00:31:14 that it's really hard to find your joy again when you're struggling,
00:31:14 --> 00:31:18 when you're grieving, when you've experienced some kind of pain in your life.
00:31:18 --> 00:31:21 So we're going to talk about that a lot next week.
00:31:21 --> 00:31:27 Until then, keep surviving, and we'll be right back here next Wednesday. Have a good one.
00:31:28 --> 00:31:31 Thanks so much for listening and for being part of the Survivors community.
00:31:32 --> 00:31:37 No matter where you are in your story, you're not alone and you're definitely not broken.
00:31:37 --> 00:31:41 Healing takes time and it looks different for everyone. The fact that you're
00:31:41 --> 00:31:45 still here and still trying means you're already doing the hard work.
00:31:45 --> 00:31:50 If something in today's conversation resonated with you, please share it with
00:31:50 --> 00:31:51 someone who might need to hear it too.
00:31:52 --> 00:31:56 That's how we keep these conversations going and remind each other that there's always hope.
00:31:57 --> 00:32:00 And if you or someone you know is struggling, please remember,
00:32:00 --> 00:32:01 help is always out there.
00:32:01 --> 00:32:06 You can call or text 988 anytime to reach a trained crisis counselor like me.
00:32:06 --> 00:32:10 And for more mental health resources, tools, treatment options,
00:32:10 --> 00:32:13 and content to support your mental health, visit thehelphub.co.
00:32:14 --> 00:32:17 We're so grateful you're part of the Survivors family, and we'll be back next
00:32:17 --> 00:32:21 week with another honest conversation about life after the hardest things.
00:32:21 --> 00:32:27 Until then, take care of yourself and your people, and keep surviving. Bye.