From Darkness to Advocacy: A Wife’s Journey After Suicide Loss
The Survivors PodcastJuly 22, 2026
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From Darkness to Advocacy: A Wife’s Journey After Suicide Loss

*WARNING: This podcast mentions suicide and may be triggering.

 

Episode Summary

After losing her husband Sean to suicide, Reshma Kearney found herself navigating unimaginable grief while helping her children make sense of a loss that changed everything.

In this episode of The Survivors, Reshma shares Sean's story, the mental health struggles he faced, and the lasting impact his death has had on their family. She opens up about the difficult conversations she had with her children, why honesty and age-appropriate transparency mattered, and how vulnerability became an important part of their healing.

Together, we explore the unique challenges of suicide loss, the urgent need for more open conversations about men's mental health—especially within the military—and the importance of creating communities where people feel safe asking for help.

Reshma also shares how she's transforming her grief into purpose through advocacy, building supportive spaces for suicide loss survivors, and developing new resources for solo moms and children living with profound loss.

This is a conversation about heartbreak, resilience, hope, and the courage to keep moving forward—even after life changes forever.

 

Episode Sponsored by The HelpHUB™ 

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Takeaways

  • Reshma emphasizes the importance of discussing how loved ones lived, not just how they died.
  • The conversation highlights the challenges of recognizing mental health struggles in high-functioning individuals.
  • The stigma surrounding mental health in the military can prevent people from seeking help.
  • The importance of open communication about mental health within families is stressed.
  • Reshma's experience shows the complexities of grief and the different ways children cope with loss.
  • The conversation underscores the need for societal change regarding mental health discussions and that navigating grief with children requires honesty and transparency.
  • Vulnerability can lead to powerful healing experiences.
  • Finding small bits of joy is essential in the grieving process.
  • Community support is crucial for those dealing with loss.
  • Sharing personal stories can help others feel less alone.
  • Grief is a unique journey for everyone, even within the same family.
  • Mindfulness practices can aid in emotional healing.
  • Creating safe spaces for grief discussions fosters healing.
  • It's important to educate others about grief to prevent unintentional harm.
  • Hope and healing are possible, even after profound loss.

 

Chapters

00:00 - Introduction to Raish McCarney's Story 05:36 - The Life and Legacy of Sean 10:06 - The Circumstances of Sean's Passing 16:01 - Understanding Mental Health in the Military 22:19 - Navigating Grief with Children 30:08 - The Power of Vulnerability in Healing 33:27 - Finding Joy Amidst Grief 39:13 - The Journey of Healing and Advocacy 43:36 - Creating Community and Support 46:13 - Future Endeavors and Resources

Mental Health Resources


00:00:00 --> 00:00:04 Hey friends, before we dive into this week's episode, just a heads up.
00:00:04 --> 00:00:08 Our podcast talks about suicide, sexual abuse, and other trauma,
00:00:08 --> 00:00:12 and some of what you hear may be triggering. So please listen with care.
00:00:13 --> 00:00:18 This is The Survivors, real stories, raw conversations, and the truth about
00:00:18 --> 00:00:20 what it means to keep going after the hardest things.
00:00:21 --> 00:00:24 We're so glad you're here. Let's keep surviving together.
00:00:25 --> 00:00:29 So welcome back to The Survivors. Today, I'm actually really,
00:00:29 --> 00:00:35 really looking forward to this conversation and introducing you to today's guest.
00:00:35 --> 00:00:41 We're so, so happy to have you here. Raish McCarney, you are in our club, like it or not.
00:00:42 --> 00:00:45 None of us likes the fact that we're in this club, but you are in this club
00:00:45 --> 00:00:47 of being a survivor of suicide loss.
00:00:48 --> 00:00:50 You lost your husband, Sean. Is that right?
00:00:51 --> 00:00:54 Yes. You lost your husband, Sean. You have three kids.
00:00:56 --> 00:01:00 You're the mom of three kids. and you've turned one of the most devastating
00:01:00 --> 00:01:06 things that can happen to anybody, any parent, any partner into a mission.
00:01:06 --> 00:01:10 You've turned it into this mission of advocacy for mental health awareness and
00:01:10 --> 00:01:15 suicide prevention and men's mental health. And we're so, so grateful that you're
00:01:15 --> 00:01:17 here just to share your story with us.
00:01:18 --> 00:01:22 Before we dive in, we like to kind of do this when we're inviting someone in
00:01:22 --> 00:01:24 who's talking about someone that they've lost recently.
00:01:25 --> 00:01:29 So, we want to acknowledge that a story like yours takes an incredible amount,
00:01:29 --> 00:01:32 of courage to share. So, number one, thank you for that. Number two,
00:01:33 --> 00:01:36 every time somebody joins us, we like to ask about, like, what was Sean like?
00:01:37 --> 00:01:43 We just kind of want to start the whole conversation, not by how Sean died,
00:01:43 --> 00:01:45 but how Sean lived and who Sean was.
00:01:45 --> 00:01:50 So, can you just kind of give us a little snapshot? Tell us about him,
00:01:51 --> 00:01:53 what he was like as a dad and a partner and a person.
00:01:54 --> 00:01:56 Yeah, he was. Well, thank you,
00:01:56 --> 00:02:01 first of all, for having me on and for just holding space for my story.
00:02:02 --> 00:02:04 And I love this first question.
00:02:04 --> 00:02:10 Sean was, he was a multidimensional person. He had so many talents.
00:02:11 --> 00:02:15 He was an outdoor enthusiast, very adventurous.
00:02:16 --> 00:02:19 I learned so much from him. He was an avid skier.
00:02:19 --> 00:02:27 And when I met him at 25, I had only been skiing twice on like little Midwest
00:02:27 --> 00:02:31 hills. And I remember his family, that was the first question they asked me
00:02:31 --> 00:02:33 when they met me, do you ski?
00:02:33 --> 00:02:37 And so I, you know, learned how to ski with him.
00:02:37 --> 00:02:42 And I've been skiing ever since, even after knee surgeries. And,
00:02:42 --> 00:02:48 you know, my kids love it. And so it's just been a really beautiful way to stay connected with him.
00:02:48 --> 00:02:50 I love that. He was funny.
00:02:51 --> 00:02:55 He had like just kind of a dry sense of humor, but I loved it.
00:02:55 --> 00:03:00 And he had this incredible way of talking to anybody.
00:03:00 --> 00:03:07 He could talk to an eight-year-old or an 80-year-old and really make them feel seen and heard.
00:03:08 --> 00:03:13 And I, I really appreciated that about him. He was a great dad.
00:03:13 --> 00:03:14 He taught the kids so much.
00:03:15 --> 00:03:19 Even now the kids will share things with me that they learned from him and,
00:03:20 --> 00:03:25 And I'm surprised they had all these conversations that I never even knew about.
00:03:26 --> 00:03:31 I love that. That's so special, especially that he had that capacity to connect
00:03:31 --> 00:03:35 with them in that way and be so close to them in that way.
00:03:35 --> 00:03:40 I had a similar relationship with my dad. He was also an outdoorsman and,
00:03:40 --> 00:03:45 you know, big, big avid mountain climber and tennis player and car racer.
00:03:45 --> 00:03:49 And we did everything together. I was like his little shadow.
00:03:49 --> 00:03:54 And he, I mean, all the, I just wish that I could remember all the conversations
00:03:55 --> 00:03:57 that I had with him. That's the thing that I struggle with a little bit,
00:03:57 --> 00:04:01 but I love the fact that your kids had that with him.
00:04:02 --> 00:04:06 Do you mind if I ask what's your favorite memory with your husband?
00:04:06 --> 00:04:10 I'm sure there's a ton, but do you have one that just kind of stands out for you?
00:04:11 --> 00:04:14 Oh, gosh. Not like putting you on the spot. Yeah.
00:04:17 --> 00:04:23 I think just funny moments that I had with him when the kids were really little
00:04:23 --> 00:04:28 and we were like, you know, just learning how to raise them together.
00:04:28 --> 00:04:32 He was an orthopedic surgeon in the Army, so he wasn't around a lot.
00:04:33 --> 00:04:38 And when he was at home, I feel like we were constantly learning together how
00:04:38 --> 00:04:41 to raise them. So just funny things.
00:04:41 --> 00:04:46 I remember there was a time where he came back from Afghanistan.
00:04:46 --> 00:04:52 And when he came back, he was like meeting his daughter for the first time because
00:04:52 --> 00:04:54 she was born just as he left.
00:04:55 --> 00:05:01 And so she was about six, seven months old and he was trying to put these little shoes on her feet.
00:05:02 --> 00:05:06 And I was standing there waiting. We were running late for something.
00:05:06 --> 00:05:14 And then he said in a very like dry way, well, it's not my fault her feet are like potatoes.
00:05:14 --> 00:05:21 And, you know, it's just funny because he, like I said, he had this dry sense of humor.
00:05:21 --> 00:05:28 A lot of times you didn't know if he was joking or serious and you had to really know him to get him.
00:05:28 --> 00:05:32 And so that moment was just really funny to me because I would have never expected
00:05:32 --> 00:05:36 him to say something like that. And of course, our daughter loves that story.
00:05:37 --> 00:05:40 She thinks it's so funny. Of course, because she's got potato feet.
00:05:41 --> 00:05:46 Yeah. I mean, she's a ballerina now, so it's kind of funny. That's ironic.
00:05:46 --> 00:05:48 Funny, yes. Yeah, I know.
00:05:48 --> 00:05:52 Right. You can't be a ballerina with potato feet. No, you really can't. I know, yeah. Yeah.
00:05:54 --> 00:05:57 So tell us, when did you lose Sean?
00:05:58 --> 00:06:04 When was it? Remind me. He died September 30th, 2022. So it'll be four years
00:06:04 --> 00:06:05 this September. Okay, okay.
00:06:06 --> 00:06:11 In whatever way feels right to you, and kind of jumping in at whatever point
00:06:11 --> 00:06:14 feels right for you, share the story.
00:06:15 --> 00:06:22 Let us know kind of what happened in whatever way feels right to you. Yeah.
00:06:24 --> 00:06:30 He was in the Army, like I said, and he got out of the Army at the end of 2021.
00:06:30 --> 00:06:36 And this was after, from 2020 to 2022 when he died.
00:06:36 --> 00:06:43 You know, we went through like the pandemic, the peak of the pandemic in March
00:06:43 --> 00:06:48 of 2020. And then in the summer of 2020, we moved from North Carolina to Georgia.
00:06:49 --> 00:06:55 Soon after we moved, he deployed to Syria. And then he came back from Syria
00:06:55 --> 00:07:03 early 2021 or mid-2021. And then he separated from the Army at the end of that year. Okay.
00:07:04 --> 00:07:08 How many years of service? It was 16 years. Oh, wow. Yeah.
00:07:09 --> 00:07:13 Yeah. Yeah, it was a long time. And he didn't go to 20 because it made more
00:07:13 --> 00:07:17 sense to practice as a surgeon in the civilian world.
00:07:17 --> 00:07:22 And we had been through three deployments and we wanted to just settle down.
00:07:23 --> 00:07:30 And our forever dream had been to go back to Washington State where we started our lives together.
00:07:31 --> 00:07:39 So fortunately he got a job and he chose to go to washington state early 2022
00:07:40 --> 00:07:44 to start practicing with a group the kids and i stayed in georgia to finish
00:07:44 --> 00:07:46 the school year and then we were,
00:07:47 --> 00:07:52 back together in that summer and it was amazing we had the best summer ever,
00:07:52 --> 00:07:55 and we were making plans for the future.
00:07:56 --> 00:07:59 I thought this was the start of our forever.
00:08:01 --> 00:08:05 That was the summer. And then as we're moving into the fall,
00:08:06 --> 00:08:11 the kids started their new school in Bellevue, Washington. I was getting settled,
00:08:11 --> 00:08:14 in this new community we were a part of.
00:08:15 --> 00:08:20 And I didn't see signs of this.
00:08:20 --> 00:08:25 I did see a difference in behavior. We were on like a high in the summer.
00:08:25 --> 00:08:27 And then I saw him kind of come down from that.
00:08:28 --> 00:08:34 And I just thought it was because of the new job, leaving the army, maybe some self-doubt.
00:08:34 --> 00:08:44 And then the week before he died, we had a birthday party for our youngest who had turned seven.
00:08:44 --> 00:08:49 And it was so much fun. I, again, didn't see anything unusual.
00:08:49 --> 00:08:52 He did all the things he normally did.
00:08:52 --> 00:08:58 The week leading up to his death, he was planning on going to Canada for a fishing trip.
00:08:59 --> 00:09:03 That was supposed to be the Saturday after he died. He died on a Friday.
00:09:04 --> 00:09:10 And the only struggles I saw were, again, having to do with work and maybe feeling
00:09:10 --> 00:09:14 a little bit hesitant about taking this time off to go fishing.
00:09:15 --> 00:09:20 And the night before he died, he went to bed.
00:09:20 --> 00:09:26 I didn't go to bed with him. We had had a heavy conversation about his work
00:09:26 --> 00:09:29 situation and whether or not he made the right decision.
00:09:30 --> 00:09:33 And in the morning, I got up before him.
00:09:34 --> 00:09:38 I did the things that I normally do, just getting the kids ready,
00:09:38 --> 00:09:39 getting them out to school.
00:09:39 --> 00:09:45 And that morning, when I left the house to walk them to school, I didn't feel great.
00:09:45 --> 00:09:50 So I just took them halfway and then I went back home. And when I went back
00:09:50 --> 00:09:53 home, I saw that his car was still in the driveway.
00:09:53 --> 00:09:59 Okay. And that was unusual. I didn't know his schedule for the day.
00:09:59 --> 00:10:02 Went upstairs and yeah, I couldn't get in.
00:10:03 --> 00:10:07 And then I had to pry myself in and I found him. Oh, you couldn't get in.
00:10:07 --> 00:10:10 Okay. Yeah. So, yeah, he had locked it.
00:10:11 --> 00:10:18 So it like happened in just those few moments.
00:10:19 --> 00:10:24 I mean, probably like five minutes. And it's just, it was a shock.
00:10:24 --> 00:10:30 It was a shock to all of us, to me and the kids, to the people who knew him.
00:10:31 --> 00:10:36 But with time and just processing, I got to a point where I thought,
00:10:36 --> 00:10:40 okay, it was a shock because he was such a go-getter.
00:10:40 --> 00:10:46 And so, you know, high achieving and high functioning, I never thought he'd
00:10:46 --> 00:10:51 give up on anything, but it wasn't a surprise looking back that he didn't want
00:10:51 --> 00:10:54 to be in this world anymore. Okay. Now, why do you say that?
00:10:55 --> 00:10:58 First of all, first of all, I want to just say, I'm so sorry.
00:10:58 --> 00:11:00 Yes. We're both just so sorry.
00:11:01 --> 00:11:05 So what makes you say that? Because
00:11:05 --> 00:11:14 I had seen over those 16 years so many different moments of struggle.
00:11:14 --> 00:11:19 It got to a point where I knew every year there was going to be this downward
00:11:19 --> 00:11:22 cycle. That's how I referred to it.
00:11:22 --> 00:11:27 And every time he had one of those, it was me that carried him through.
00:11:28 --> 00:11:34 He would you know i want to say the word i want to say dump on me but not in
00:11:35 --> 00:11:40 that negative way but he would really like unload on me and share with me,
00:11:41 --> 00:11:47 let his emotions take over and unload on me and i supported him every time and
00:11:47 --> 00:11:49 then when he was in a better place i would then,
00:11:50 --> 00:11:53 use that opportunity to encourage him to go get help.
00:11:54 --> 00:11:59 And then in any way that might seem helpful to him. And did he?
00:11:59 --> 00:12:04 No. He didn't. He wouldn't. He wouldn't. And over the years,
00:12:04 --> 00:12:09 it was like suggestions for therapy, for medication,
00:12:10 --> 00:12:15 ask your colleagues for a break, talk to your friends who are also physicians
00:12:15 --> 00:12:17 in the Army. They might be going through something similar.
00:12:18 --> 00:12:23 Let's do yoga. Let's go for walks after dinner. Let's change our diet.
00:12:23 --> 00:12:30 So constant suggestions but nothing landed for him. Nothing felt,
00:12:31 --> 00:12:34 you know, now I can say nothing felt safe for him.
00:12:34 --> 00:12:40 At the time, I thought he was just being stubborn or proud, maybe selfish.
00:12:40 --> 00:12:45 But now I can see that none of those suggestions felt safe for him. Okay.
00:12:45 --> 00:12:48 Do you mind if I ask? Sorry, Lisa. No, go, go.
00:12:49 --> 00:12:54 During those times when he was really low, was that in the wintertime?
00:12:54 --> 00:12:57 Because I know for me, as someone who has struggled with depression for over
00:12:57 --> 00:13:01 20 years, the wintertime is always, that hits me the hardest.
00:13:01 --> 00:13:10 Yeah, it was more like the fall, like between the end of summer and the holidays.
00:13:11 --> 00:13:16 I'd see that, but I would also see that during the holidays too.
00:13:17 --> 00:13:23 And I think during the holidays, it made sense because he had had a difficult
00:13:23 --> 00:13:28 childhood, just parents getting divorced, you know, living with one parent while
00:13:28 --> 00:13:30 siblings lived with the other.
00:13:30 --> 00:13:35 And so I always thought maybe the holidays brought up those,
00:13:35 --> 00:13:38 you know, emotions, that grief for him. Mm hmm.
00:13:38 --> 00:13:42 Although, ironically, Christmas was his favorite time of the year.
00:13:43 --> 00:13:47 He was playing Christmas music before Thanksgiving.
00:13:48 --> 00:13:55 You know, he was one of those Christmas lovers. So it's kind of interesting to think about now.
00:13:56 --> 00:14:01 Yeah, yeah, it is. And it is so interesting to think about how certain things
00:14:01 --> 00:14:03 display with different people and,
00:14:04 --> 00:14:08 you know, how people who are always kind of struggling under the surface just
00:14:08 --> 00:14:13 kind of move throughout their life carrying that with them.
00:14:13 --> 00:14:17 Especially when you don't see it it's like my father was the same way you didn't
00:14:17 --> 00:14:19 see I mean I was only 10 years old when he passed away but,
00:14:21 --> 00:14:26 he was a joyful person he loved life he was an outdoorsman and never had those
00:14:26 --> 00:14:32 highs and lows that you say you saw with Sean so it just it's just so interesting to see how,
00:14:33 --> 00:14:37 that depression can manifest itself in people in such different ways,
00:14:38 --> 00:14:42 yeah I have a brother well I mean obviously I have five brothers that have died
00:14:42 --> 00:14:49 by suicide and the third the fourth one Brandon he was in the military and had
00:14:49 --> 00:14:51 served several tours in the Middle East and.
00:14:53 --> 00:14:57 I mean, we knew he struggled, but it was definitely about, you know,
00:14:58 --> 00:15:00 they're so proud when they're in the military.
00:15:01 --> 00:15:08 You know, he got out in, I think, 2008, but he still just, we knew that he was
00:15:08 --> 00:15:14 struggling with some pretty serious demons, quote unquote, but we just couldn't get him to face it.
00:15:15 --> 00:15:19 I don't know what that mentality is. And I was watching one of your videos where
00:15:19 --> 00:15:23 you're talking about how, you know, her husband was in the military and he just,
00:15:24 --> 00:15:29 was so concerned about how it would affect his job and his career in the military.
00:15:29 --> 00:15:34 And I just, I hate that so much that that is the biggest concern is how we're
00:15:34 --> 00:15:40 going to be perceived outward rather than actually taking care of ourselves mentally.
00:15:40 --> 00:15:43 And it just, it just, when you were talking about it, it really made me sad
00:15:43 --> 00:15:45 for your husband. That's what he experienced.
00:15:46 --> 00:15:51 And he didn't get to reach out for help because there was so much on the line for him.
00:15:52 --> 00:15:56 Yeah. Yeah. I think there's this underlying expectation and,
00:15:57 --> 00:16:07 the military and in medicine and among males to be resilient and push through no matter what.
00:16:08 --> 00:16:13 And it's unfair because we can't expect that it it.
00:16:14 --> 00:16:22 Never, it's never like supportive for them to feel like they have to continue to push.
00:16:23 --> 00:16:25 And it's so much harder too when you're a man. I mean, you've got the whole
00:16:25 --> 00:16:29 military identity and then you have just the male identity.
00:16:30 --> 00:16:35 And unfortunately, the stigma of reaching out and talking about or acknowledging
00:16:35 --> 00:16:42 or getting help for any mental health challenges, it's different if you're a man.
00:16:42 --> 00:16:46 And I hate the fact that it's different. If you're a man, it shouldn't be.
00:16:46 --> 00:16:50 And I think that that's such a barrier for so many men. And I know that you're
00:16:50 --> 00:16:52 out there really advocating hard.
00:16:52 --> 00:16:54 I know, especially during Men's Mental Health Awareness Month,
00:16:54 --> 00:17:01 you are out there constantly just reinforcing that idea that we have to be able to talk about this.
00:17:01 --> 00:17:04 Everyone has to be able to talk about it and men have to be able to talk about
00:17:04 --> 00:17:09 it in particular. So I know that that's kind of a niche within a niche that
00:17:09 --> 00:17:12 you've been out there working in.
00:17:13 --> 00:17:20 Yeah. And it's especially important to me because I have a son and a son who has.
00:17:21 --> 00:17:27 Lived through his own trauma and is carrying grief and has his own mental health,
00:17:28 --> 00:17:32 challenges given, you know, what he's endured.
00:17:32 --> 00:17:38 So when I look at him, I think about the ways in which my husband was raised
00:17:39 --> 00:17:43 and what he grew up hearing, not just, you know, within his own home,
00:17:43 --> 00:17:45 but from the world around him.
00:17:45 --> 00:17:50 And I just keep thinking, like, how do we change that narrative for our kids.
00:17:50 --> 00:17:54 Because even though I do this work, we talk about Sean every day.
00:17:54 --> 00:17:58 We talk about mental health all the time. I'm always checking with my son.
00:17:58 --> 00:18:07 There's still this feeling in him that he can't really talk about how he's feeling or ask for help.
00:18:07 --> 00:18:13 I mean, he still, he has said to me before that he feels like it's weak to ask
00:18:13 --> 00:18:16 for help. How old is he? How old is your son?
00:18:17 --> 00:18:23 He's 14. He was actually 10 as well, Lisa, when his dad died. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
00:18:23 --> 00:18:27 So he was, he was 10 and my middle one was eight and then the youngest was the
00:18:27 --> 00:18:29 brand new seven-year-old.
00:18:29 --> 00:18:35 Yeah. I'm curious actually. And just when you said what you said about how our ages were the same.
00:18:36 --> 00:18:43 When we lost our dads. I'm just curious, did you tell them just truthfully how
00:18:43 --> 00:18:48 Sean died in, obviously, in an age-appropriate way? But did you share that it was a suicide?
00:18:48 --> 00:18:52 Yeah, I did. It was that day, actually.
00:18:52 --> 00:18:58 So that day, they went to school. And the whole day, the police department was
00:18:58 --> 00:19:02 at our house. And the department sent over a volunteer chaplain.
00:19:03 --> 00:19:09 And he sat with me the entire day until the kids came home he he was the one
00:19:09 --> 00:19:15 who guided me through the day and i asked him,
00:19:16 --> 00:19:21 what to do with the kids do i go get them from school what do i say and he said,
00:19:21 --> 00:19:26 what's their normal schedule and i said they usually walk home he said let them
00:19:26 --> 00:19:30 do that yeah good that was good advice yeah and then he said,
00:19:30 --> 00:19:34 when they come home whom will tell them.
00:19:34 --> 00:19:39 And, you know, in that moment, I was like, we'll tell them what? Yeah. You know?
00:19:40 --> 00:19:44 And he said, well, first of all, you won't tell them, I will.
00:19:45 --> 00:19:48 And he said, I will tell them that their dad died.
00:19:49 --> 00:19:54 And then I'll give them space to ask questions.
00:19:55 --> 00:19:58 So for me that was really hard because as a mother.
00:19:59 --> 00:20:05 We have to fix everything for our children we have to be the ones right so to
00:20:06 --> 00:20:08 to have a stranger tell them,
00:20:08 --> 00:20:14 this horrific news was really hard for me to understand but then he said if
00:20:14 --> 00:20:20 you tell them they will forever connect this story with your face.
00:20:21 --> 00:20:28 And if I tell them, I'm just that guy they saw that day and never saw again. That's so interesting.
00:20:28 --> 00:20:31 That's so interesting. And actually really...
00:20:32 --> 00:20:35 That's really powerful when you think about it. Yeah.
00:20:37 --> 00:20:41 And then I thought, well, okay, that feels good. Okay, we'll do that.
00:20:42 --> 00:20:45 But what are you going to tell them? You're going to say he died,
00:20:45 --> 00:20:50 but then what? And he said, well, I'm going to tell them that he ended his life, that he shot himself.
00:20:51 --> 00:20:58 And I thought okay how much damage are we gonna do here you know what's gonna
00:20:58 --> 00:21:00 happen in a year five years 20
00:21:00 --> 00:21:06 years when we do this but something in my body just told me to trust him,
00:21:07 --> 00:21:12 and to and to let him lead the way so they came home from school I introduced
00:21:12 --> 00:21:16 them to him and I you know, let's go to the living room and talk.
00:21:17 --> 00:21:21 And he told them, your dad died today. He shot himself.
00:21:22 --> 00:21:26 And their reactions, I'll never forget.
00:21:27 --> 00:21:32 How old were they at the time? I know your son was 10, but... 10, 8, and brand new 7.
00:21:32 --> 00:21:37 So the youngest turned 7 six days before he... Right. Okay. You did say that. Yeah. Okay.
00:21:37 --> 00:21:45 Yeah. So, and boy, girl, girl. And their reactions are still,
00:21:45 --> 00:21:50 like, their reactions told me how they would grieve.
00:21:50 --> 00:21:55 That's interesting. You know, without me understanding what was coming back then.
00:21:55 --> 00:22:01 But when I look back, it is so representative of how they've been grieving.
00:22:01 --> 00:22:07 And so when I say that, my son had just very quiet tears run down his face,
00:22:07 --> 00:22:09 but had like nothing to say.
00:22:10 --> 00:22:16 My middle one was stoic. Nothing. Just kind of eyes open, mouth open,
00:22:16 --> 00:22:18 no words, no. Just shock. frozen.
00:22:19 --> 00:22:26 Yeah. And the youngest one immediately started crying, immediately started talking,
00:22:26 --> 00:22:29 looked at me, asked me if it was a joke, asked me why.
00:22:30 --> 00:22:37 And that's how they've been these past almost four years. My son holds it in, but it'll come out,
00:22:38 --> 00:22:45 Not so much in tears, but in anger, which is typical of a lot of grievers, young grievers, boys.
00:22:46 --> 00:22:49 My middle one is my quiet griever.
00:22:50 --> 00:22:55 And so it's not until she feels really, really heavy that she starts talking.
00:22:55 --> 00:23:00 And the youngest one is the one who, you know, even today will come in my room
00:23:00 --> 00:23:06 and have questions about that day and about details that she wants to understand better.
00:23:06 --> 00:23:10 Hey, it's Lisa Sugarman. co-host of The Survivors and founder of The Help Hub.
00:23:11 --> 00:23:15 If you're listening right now and you're not okay, if you're feeling overwhelmed,
00:23:15 --> 00:23:19 stuck, or like you're carrying more than you can handle, please know you don't
00:23:19 --> 00:23:20 have to go through it alone.
00:23:21 --> 00:23:28 You can call or text 988 or chat online at 988lifeline.org to connect with trained
00:23:28 --> 00:23:31 counselors like me who are there to listen and support you in the moment.
00:23:32 --> 00:23:37 Reaching out is a brave first step and you owe it to yourself because your life
00:23:37 --> 00:23:42 matters your story matters and help is always just three numbers away.
00:23:44 --> 00:23:51 That's interesting. A couple of things come to mind. First of all, I was your youngest.
00:23:51 --> 00:23:54 I mean, I didn't have any siblings. It was just me. But in terms of like kind
00:23:54 --> 00:23:58 of aligning with the personalities and the way that they grieved,
00:23:59 --> 00:24:05 that's how I grieved was to all the questions needed to feel connected to it.
00:24:05 --> 00:24:08 I wasn't there that day. I was at camp as opposed to being at school.
00:24:09 --> 00:24:13 And it's interesting while you were sharing this I've never a full disclosure
00:24:13 --> 00:24:18 I've never had this happen on the podcast before everything in my power to not
00:24:19 --> 00:24:24 start crying at this moment because I just felt for them.
00:24:25 --> 00:24:32 As that child like I remember myself in the front seat of my aunt's car my mom
00:24:32 --> 00:24:35 took me down the street into my aunt's car because my house was inundated with
00:24:35 --> 00:24:40 family And I remember when you said one of your kids said, is this a joke?
00:24:40 --> 00:24:43 I remember I said to my mom, this has to be a dream. This isn't real. This can't be real.
00:24:44 --> 00:24:49 And I just, I'm only saying this just so that you'll understand how deeply I
00:24:49 --> 00:24:53 connect with that moment when you shared that with them.
00:24:53 --> 00:24:59 And I really, there is no way to know if you're handling a situation like that,
00:24:59 --> 00:25:04 in the best possible way, but you went with your gut And it sounds like it was
00:25:04 --> 00:25:06 the best way in that moment.
00:25:07 --> 00:25:11 Yeah. Thank you. When you said that, I got goosebumps. So I definitely,
00:25:12 --> 00:25:14 I feel that you connected to it.
00:25:16 --> 00:25:24 I have no regrets about anything that happened that day, how I handled it. I have no regrets.
00:25:24 --> 00:25:35 The just being able to start that journey with them in true transparency and
00:25:35 --> 00:25:38 honesty, like from day one,
00:25:39 --> 00:25:43 I think has been the most healing thing for all of us.
00:25:44 --> 00:25:50 We have been able to be very open about how we felt about the death,
00:25:50 --> 00:25:57 how we're grieving we've been very open about our mental health and the things
00:25:57 --> 00:26:00 we've gone through since he died,
00:26:01 --> 00:26:07 when he died they understood what depression and anxiety was,
00:26:07 --> 00:26:14 because they had seen behavior in him over the years that I had to explain and
00:26:14 --> 00:26:18 I did it honestly and talked about depression and anxiety.
00:26:19 --> 00:26:25 But, of course, they had questions just like we adults have questions. Why did dad do this?
00:26:25 --> 00:26:30 My son, you know, who was 10, said, I don't get it.
00:26:30 --> 00:26:34 We just moved here and we bought a brand new boat, you know?
00:26:35 --> 00:26:39 It's so funny the things that they connect with like that. Yeah, yeah.
00:26:39 --> 00:26:44 So, I don't get it. Why would he do that? You know, what was so bad?
00:26:44 --> 00:26:50 And so, you know, again, it was a moment in which I had to think very quickly
00:26:50 --> 00:26:55 and figure out how to respond in a way that was age appropriate,
00:26:56 --> 00:27:02 but more importantly, in a way that assured all three kids that this had nothing to do with them.
00:27:03 --> 00:27:07 And it was not because of them. It was not because of me.
00:27:07 --> 00:27:12 They didn't say anything. They did not say anything. Right. So I don't know
00:27:12 --> 00:27:16 why, but I started thinking about coloring and colors.
00:27:17 --> 00:27:18 And I asked them.
00:27:20 --> 00:27:25 What does the inside of your mind look like? If you could describe the inside
00:27:25 --> 00:27:29 of your mind with colors, shapes, designs, how would you describe it?
00:27:30 --> 00:27:34 So I got answers like bright green, rainbow, stars. And I said,
00:27:34 --> 00:27:38 yeah, that's what the inside of my mind looks like, too. I might have some dark
00:27:38 --> 00:27:44 blue, gray, black, but overall it's very bright and I can see all these things.
00:27:44 --> 00:27:49 And I said, your dad was in a place where it was dark.
00:27:50 --> 00:27:55 And I imagine there was no brightness, no design, no stars.
00:27:57 --> 00:28:05 And to be trapped in this dark place and not see any light how scary would that feel,
00:28:05 --> 00:28:12 and they said yeah that would be really scary mom and i said so for dad i think
00:28:12 --> 00:28:18 that he was so scared he'd never see light again that he thought ending his
00:28:18 --> 00:28:20 life would be the only way to find peace,
00:28:21 --> 00:28:22 i have to say.
00:28:24 --> 00:28:26 And I just want to kind of collect my thoughts before I say it.
00:28:27 --> 00:28:31 I have to say that has to be one of the most beautiful, and I've heard a lot,
00:28:31 --> 00:28:34 of these types of exchanges before.
00:28:35 --> 00:28:39 That has to be one of the most powerful and one of the most beautiful ways of
00:28:39 --> 00:28:42 putting it, especially in the context of children.
00:28:43 --> 00:28:47 And my mother so what's interesting to me is that,
00:28:48 --> 00:28:51 my mother did not tell me back in
00:28:51 --> 00:28:56 1978 the truth about my father because I mentioned I'm an only child and I,
00:28:56 --> 00:29:00 he was my person so it was just so shattering to lose him that she couldn't
00:29:00 --> 00:29:06 imagine layering a suicide on top of that but as the child who now is an adult
00:29:06 --> 00:29:09 looking back I'm an adult I'm a mom I have two daughters they're grown and I.
00:29:10 --> 00:29:16 Hear you look back on your moment that were similar situations, but,
00:29:17 --> 00:29:21 you know, 45 years apart, 50 years apart,
00:29:21 --> 00:29:26 thinking you were in an impossibly hard situation, Reshma.
00:29:26 --> 00:29:33 And what a beautiful way of guiding your children through that moment.
00:29:33 --> 00:29:37 I just give you, I give every single mom under any circumstances that makes
00:29:37 --> 00:29:41 them a single mom, incredible credit. But under these circumstances,
00:29:41 --> 00:29:44 this is a very unique and personal one for me.
00:29:45 --> 00:29:50 I give you all the credit in the world for doing that because I think it's a
00:29:50 --> 00:29:58 beautiful way of explaining something so hard and painful in a way that they could understand it.
00:29:59 --> 00:30:03 So for whatever that's worth, I just am very inspired by that.
00:30:03 --> 00:30:06 I actually think it would be beautiful if you could write to children's children.
00:30:06 --> 00:30:08 I was just... Explaining. I'm...
00:30:09 --> 00:30:13 I mean, I literally had tears in my eyes as you were explaining that because...
00:30:14 --> 00:30:20 I am a three-time suicide survivor. So I know that darkness I live with every
00:30:20 --> 00:30:22 day. You're talking attempt.
00:30:22 --> 00:30:25 Yeah. Yeah, I've attempted three times.
00:30:25 --> 00:30:32 And so, yeah, that was literally the perfect explanation of what it's like to
00:30:32 --> 00:30:35 live with chronic depression and anxiety.
00:30:36 --> 00:30:42 Is, you know, the darkness is there. Sometimes it's small. And other times it's real big.
00:30:42 --> 00:30:47 But I do have colors, you know, and it's just a matter of whether or not I'm
00:30:47 --> 00:30:50 able psychologically how I balance it.
00:30:51 --> 00:30:54 Gosh, you just, you really hit me deep with that. Yeah. So thank you so much,
00:30:55 --> 00:30:57 for explaining it in that way.
00:30:57 --> 00:31:00 We're just a ball of emotion on the podcast today. Yeah.
00:31:00 --> 00:31:03 You're bringing out all the feels in us today. You sure are.
00:31:03 --> 00:31:07 Yeah. And I actually, I never cry on camera.
00:31:07 --> 00:31:12 You know, it's kind of wild. I cry a lot on my own, but somehow whenever there's
00:31:12 --> 00:31:16 a camera on, I've talked about it before, like the minute the phone is on me
00:31:16 --> 00:31:19 or the minute I'm on screen, I don't.
00:31:19 --> 00:31:27 So, yeah, I feel quite emotional too, but I appreciate both of you being open and vulnerable as well.
00:31:27 --> 00:31:31 One thing I do want to also share is the chaplain.
00:31:31 --> 00:31:36 I love how he explained that they wanted to remember his face,
00:31:36 --> 00:31:38 or he wanted them to remember his face and not yours. Yeah.
00:31:40 --> 00:31:47 And that struck me really hard because I had to tell my mom of the two of them, the first one.
00:31:47 --> 00:31:53 And then I had to lie to her because brother number four had been missing for a week.
00:31:54 --> 00:32:00 And we all the psychologists told us to all gather together in one place as we told our mothers.
00:32:02 --> 00:32:06 And I had to tell her again. And I had specifically lied to get her there.
00:32:07 --> 00:32:12 And I don't know, part of me wonders if, you know, the first time I had to tell her I was 16.
00:32:13 --> 00:32:18 And I don't know, I just, it makes me wonder if that's part of the reason why
00:32:18 --> 00:32:20 her and I have struggled for so many years.
00:32:21 --> 00:32:25 So, you know, just one of those things. So, girl, you brought up a lot for me
00:32:25 --> 00:32:29 to work through after we get off the call. Oh, no.
00:32:29 --> 00:32:34 No, in a good way, in a good way. This is good work. That's the part of grief,
00:32:34 --> 00:32:39 and why I love having these conversations with people because you can work so
00:32:39 --> 00:32:44 dang hard in therapy to work through things and process things.
00:32:45 --> 00:32:50 But I find that I have the most impactful and powerful moments when I'm having
00:32:50 --> 00:32:52 these kinds of conversation with other survivors.
00:32:53 --> 00:32:56 And it brings up a lot and it gives you the opportunity to look at things from
00:32:56 --> 00:32:59 a different perspective that you otherwise wouldn't have.
00:32:59 --> 00:33:02 And so it gives me a wonderful opportunity to look at things,
00:33:02 --> 00:33:05 process it more deeply, and to help me grieve.
00:33:05 --> 00:33:08 So thank you. Well, thank you for saying that.
00:33:09 --> 00:33:11 So let me ask you this.
00:33:13 --> 00:33:17 And I appreciate you kind of giving us the backstory of how things happened
00:33:17 --> 00:33:24 and what it was like telling the children. And it's been now four years, a little more than that?
00:33:24 --> 00:33:28 Almost four years. Almost four years. It'll be four years in September. Right, right. Right.
00:33:28 --> 00:33:34 So what does your life look like today? I mean, I know that the reason why you're
00:33:34 --> 00:33:39 here is because I stumbled on you across you on social media.
00:33:39 --> 00:33:44 You've got a very strong presence across your social media platforms.
00:33:44 --> 00:33:52 You're doing all of this beautiful, very, very organic kind of advocacy work.
00:33:53 --> 00:33:57 What inspired that? What, what led to that?
00:33:57 --> 00:34:02 And then like two part question, what led to that? And what is healing look
00:34:02 --> 00:34:09 like now for you and the kids? Where, where is, where, where has it taken you?
00:34:09 --> 00:34:12 And what does it look like now? Yeah.
00:34:12 --> 00:34:15 So how did I get here?
00:34:16 --> 00:34:21 I, you know, when Sean died, I stopped social media.
00:34:21 --> 00:34:29 I was actually only on social media to build a business in kids' yoga and mindfulness at that time.
00:34:30 --> 00:34:36 Yeah, I had always done yoga myself. And in 2020, when we were quarantining
00:34:36 --> 00:34:42 and I was homeschooling three children, I started bringing yoga and mindfulness into the home.
00:34:43 --> 00:34:49 And I used it as just ways to break up the day in between like their homework
00:34:49 --> 00:34:51 and Zoom calls and all of those things.
00:34:52 --> 00:34:58 And then I started noticing a shift in our home. Just the kids were more grounded
00:34:58 --> 00:35:02 and we were talking more, we were sharing emotions more.
00:35:02 --> 00:35:07 And this was so important at that time when the world around us was what it
00:35:07 --> 00:35:09 felt like at the time, crumbling.
00:35:10 --> 00:35:15 Yeah. And fast forward, you know,
00:35:16 --> 00:35:25 two years, Sean dies and we are left in this place of, again,
00:35:25 --> 00:35:29 uncertainty and our world crumbling again.
00:35:29 --> 00:35:35 And so that time, I didn't realize it, but for us to start healing,
00:35:36 --> 00:35:39 we had to go back to those practices.
00:35:39 --> 00:35:47 For me to find myself again, I had to go back to my yoga and mindfulness practices.
00:35:47 --> 00:35:51 And for a year and a half, I was off social media.
00:35:51 --> 00:35:55 In that year and a half, I was getting all our things together,
00:35:55 --> 00:35:59 all the paperwork. In that year and a half, I moved the children from Washington
00:35:59 --> 00:36:03 State here to Southern California to be in your family.
00:36:04 --> 00:36:13 And then in May, Mental Health Awareness Month of 2023, I started thinking like, wow, we're doing okay.
00:36:13 --> 00:36:18 I could just see it in the kids' faces and their bodies and their energy.
00:36:19 --> 00:36:21 I felt like I was in a better place.
00:36:22 --> 00:36:25 And I felt called to start sharing our story.
00:36:25 --> 00:36:30 I love that. And, and because it was mental health awareness month.
00:36:31 --> 00:36:35 So I started sharing my story. And you know, that's so scary when you post.
00:36:36 --> 00:36:41 I mean, I still have that sometimes where I post something and then I'm like holding my breath.
00:36:41 --> 00:36:48 But I shared that first post, and I had no idea how it was going to be received,
00:36:49 --> 00:36:50 what comments I would get.
00:36:50 --> 00:36:57 And I was really surprised because I got a lot of responses like, me too.
00:36:57 --> 00:37:02 I lost my husband this way too. I lost my mom this way. I'm feeling this way.
00:37:02 --> 00:37:08 Thank you for sharing. Thank you for being open. And so that just kind of evolved
00:37:08 --> 00:37:10 over the last couple years.
00:37:10 --> 00:37:12 I started speaking out more.
00:37:12 --> 00:37:19 I started talking about my grief. That turned into supporting other people one-on-one.
00:37:20 --> 00:37:23 That turned into talking about
00:37:23 --> 00:37:27 being a solo mom, raising grieving children, doing work in that area.
00:37:28 --> 00:37:32 And then now, you know, I do more work for survivors of suicide loss.
00:37:32 --> 00:37:37 I have a healing circle every third Thursday of the month. That's free. It's virtual.
00:37:38 --> 00:37:43 And, you know, like Natasha said, we can be in therapy, we can go to general
00:37:43 --> 00:37:51 grief groups, but when you're in a group where people truly get it, and you can say,
00:37:52 --> 00:37:56 all the things, the good, the bad, the ugly, about your grief and about your
00:37:56 --> 00:38:00 mental health and how you feel about the death and the person who died,
00:38:00 --> 00:38:04 that you can't get that anywhere else. No, you can't.
00:38:04 --> 00:38:10 Yeah. And if you can allow your grief to be witnessed with such authenticity
00:38:10 --> 00:38:14 and rawness, that's when you really can heal. Yeah.
00:38:15 --> 00:38:20 So your second part of the question was, what does healing look like for us?
00:38:21 --> 00:38:28 I think for us, it's just been really important to understand what our grief looks like,
00:38:29 --> 00:38:35 and to understand and accept that even though we're grieving in the same family,
00:38:35 --> 00:38:37 in the same home, grieving the same person,
00:38:38 --> 00:38:40 it's different. We're grieving differently.
00:38:41 --> 00:38:48 And knowing that has helped our healing and for us healing is just learning
00:38:48 --> 00:38:51 how to find small bits of joy,
00:38:51 --> 00:39:00 throughout our life throughout our week our day knowing that it's not always going to be up here that,
00:39:00 --> 00:39:06 you know it ebbs and flows and we're gonna have bad moments bad days bad weeks even,
00:39:07 --> 00:39:12 but there's still room for joy so if there's still room for joy and you can
00:39:12 --> 00:39:17 feel it and you are allowed to have it and still honor your person then there's
00:39:17 --> 00:39:21 there's hope there's this wanting to keep going and,
00:39:21 --> 00:39:24 see like how this evolves for all of us like how much,
00:39:25 --> 00:39:30 how much better can we feel because we feel better and every day,
00:39:31 --> 00:39:35 I think that's beautiful. That's absolutely beautiful. And it's interesting,
00:39:35 --> 00:39:38 too, because I think Natasha would probably agree with this.
00:39:39 --> 00:39:45 And I know for me, this is how it was for me in terms of my own evolution from
00:39:45 --> 00:39:51 learning about my dad and kind of shutting down and really just my world got
00:39:51 --> 00:39:53 very, very small after I learned that truth.
00:39:53 --> 00:39:57 I was a mom. I was working. I lived two very different lives at that time.
00:39:58 --> 00:40:02 And behind closed doors, I was a totally different person.
00:40:03 --> 00:40:06 And then as I started sharing, that was the touchpoint for me.
00:40:06 --> 00:40:10 And it said, I know it was for Natasha, and I know it now is for you, Reshma.
00:40:10 --> 00:40:19 And what a powerful learning that is to be in a position of having this thing that's happened to you,
00:40:19 --> 00:40:23 especially this kind of a thing, which the three of us here and anyone listening
00:40:23 --> 00:40:28 who's experienced it, we all know that there is such a uniqueness to this kind
00:40:28 --> 00:40:33 of loss that you really don't quite know unless you know.
00:40:34 --> 00:40:40 And what comes from being vulnerable and what comes from connecting with community
00:40:40 --> 00:40:47 and finding other people who have experienced some kind of the same loss.
00:40:48 --> 00:40:50 There is this shift that happens.
00:40:50 --> 00:40:53 There was a shift that happened for me and we're not all called to take our
00:40:53 --> 00:40:57 experience and start podcasts or write books or be advocates.
00:40:57 --> 00:41:00 Everybody does things in very different ways and it just so happens that the
00:41:00 --> 00:41:04 three of us have chosen to do things, you know, more outwardly and publicly, but,
00:41:05 --> 00:41:10 I just think it's interesting to see that in our cases,
00:41:11 --> 00:41:17 once we started sharing, it was like the switch flipped and the calling became
00:41:17 --> 00:41:20 so obvious that, okay, we have this horrible thing that happened.
00:41:20 --> 00:41:26 What can we do to kind of recycle, repurpose, put that out there in a way that helps other people?
00:41:26 --> 00:41:32 And that's why I love having conversations with people like you who are out
00:41:32 --> 00:41:36 there doing such a similar thing, because when we all kind of band together
00:41:36 --> 00:41:38 to do the same similar thing,
00:41:39 --> 00:41:43 and we all do it from different angles, we're reaching all the people who are affected.
00:41:45 --> 00:41:51 By this kind of tragedy. So I just can't say enough how important it is for
00:41:51 --> 00:41:53 any of us, and especially the people who are listening, thinking,
00:41:53 --> 00:41:55 well, what can I do with what I've been through?
00:41:55 --> 00:41:58 Just talk about it. Talk about it within your own social circle.
00:41:58 --> 00:42:01 Talk about it with the people in your orbit.
00:42:01 --> 00:42:04 If you're a social media person, share it.
00:42:04 --> 00:42:11 You'd be surprised at what would come back in a lot of cases to validate that,
00:42:11 --> 00:42:14 yeah, there is a world out there that cares about what happened to you.
00:42:15 --> 00:42:18 And your story can be of value to somebody else, and that's the point.
00:42:19 --> 00:42:22 But also, I think educating people that have not experienced this,
00:42:22 --> 00:42:26 because they're terrified to say or do the wrong thing.
00:42:27 --> 00:42:32 And so those of us who have the courage to share publicly,
00:42:33 --> 00:42:37 to educate those that are not aware, because a lot of times they do say the
00:42:37 --> 00:42:41 wrong thing or do the wrong thing, and it can damage somebody that maybe they
00:42:41 --> 00:42:44 love because they did or said the wrong thing.
00:42:44 --> 00:42:47 And they don't mean to, but sometimes those leave a lasting impact.
00:42:47 --> 00:42:51 So I like to talk about it and help people understand.
00:42:53 --> 00:42:56 You can make a difference in somebody's life and what you do or say,
00:42:56 --> 00:42:59 especially when they're grieving the loss of somebody in such a tragic way.
00:42:59 --> 00:43:01 Yeah, that's a really good point. I'm glad you mentioned that.
00:43:02 --> 00:43:05 You're very good at mentioning the points that I need to mention that I always forget to mention.
00:43:07 --> 00:43:11 So, okay, what are you working on right now?
00:43:12 --> 00:43:18 What's happening in your world around the work that you do that you want to
00:43:18 --> 00:43:21 share with people that people know about?
00:43:22 --> 00:43:26 I am finalizing details for a retreat.
00:43:26 --> 00:43:33 Are you? Retreat, yeah. It's going to be a very small, intimate, five-person retreat.
00:43:33 --> 00:43:38 So five women carrying grief, not specific to suicide loss,
00:43:39 --> 00:43:45 not specific to solo momming, but five women plus me and another facilitator,
00:43:46 --> 00:43:50 two nights in Newport Beach here in Orange County. So I'm really excited about that.
00:43:51 --> 00:43:56 I'm wrapping up details and we'll start sharing that with people soon.
00:43:56 --> 00:44:02 And I, toward the end of the summer, I'll have another solo moms workshop.
00:44:03 --> 00:44:09 And this one will be, I had one in the spring that kind of talked about nervous
00:44:09 --> 00:44:17 system regulation for children and moms. This will look at back to school for grieving children.
00:44:17 --> 00:44:24 A lot of parents, a lot of solo moms don't know how much to tell schools, how to tell schools.
00:44:25 --> 00:44:32 Some people don't realize how important it is to maintain a really close relationship
00:44:32 --> 00:44:35 with the school and the community when it comes to your grieving child.
00:44:36 --> 00:44:41 So that'll be a workshop to kind of support parents as they go into the new school year.
00:44:42 --> 00:44:47 And then in the fall, I'll have a six-week grief series for solo moms.
00:44:48 --> 00:44:57 So a nice circle that'll go over six weeks and have like messaging in between,
00:44:57 --> 00:44:59 just nice community opportunities.
00:45:01 --> 00:45:07 For solo moms. I think that's, you're really filling a niche here that really needs to be filled.
00:45:07 --> 00:45:15 And I, I love the fact that you're doing this and we as a podcast and a team
00:45:15 --> 00:45:17 want to be able to support you as much as possible.
00:45:17 --> 00:45:22 So where can people, number one, where can people reach out and connect with you?
00:45:22 --> 00:45:25 We want to make sure that we push as many people in your direction,
00:45:25 --> 00:45:32 especially the moms who need to hear your content. Where can people connect
00:45:32 --> 00:45:37 with you? Where can people find your content? Tell us everything. Yeah.
00:45:37 --> 00:45:43 I'm only on Instagram because I cannot handle any more than one platform.
00:45:43 --> 00:45:48 I'm on Instagram, Raish McCarney. My DMs are always open.
00:45:48 --> 00:45:54 I love, that's my favorite part about it, just the personal connection through DMs.
00:45:54 --> 00:46:01 And my website is under my full name where my support offers are listed and
00:46:01 --> 00:46:03 my email address is there too.
00:46:04 --> 00:46:06 Fantastic. Fantastic.
00:46:07 --> 00:46:12 I just can't thank you enough because, like we said when we started off,
00:46:13 --> 00:46:18 these are hard conversations. And it doesn't matter how often we tell them.
00:46:18 --> 00:46:23 We tell the stories and we have the same or similar conversations.
00:46:24 --> 00:46:27 They're not easy to have. Like, this is our life.
00:46:27 --> 00:46:31 And, yeah, sure, in some ways we all maybe become a little desensitized to telling
00:46:31 --> 00:46:36 it when we've told it over and over again. But I mean, you saw it today if you're
00:46:36 --> 00:46:40 hearing or listening or seeing, we got emotional.
00:46:40 --> 00:46:43 We all in different ways got emotional because it's still really hard.
00:46:43 --> 00:46:46 So we really appreciate you being here and being so vulnerable and so honest.
00:46:46 --> 00:46:50 And just thank you for helping us kind of meet and get to know Sean and get
00:46:50 --> 00:46:56 to know who he was. And for the record, when anybody comes into my family,
00:46:56 --> 00:47:00 the first question we ever ask is, do you ski or do you snowboard?
00:47:01 --> 00:47:06 We're a big skiing and snowboarding family. So knowing now you and I can absolutely
00:47:06 --> 00:47:10 be friends because I know that you do that. So that's kind of checkbox number one.
00:47:11 --> 00:47:14 You know, we really do appreciate you being here. And, you know,
00:47:14 --> 00:47:19 just for reminding everybody who's listening that, you know,
00:47:19 --> 00:47:25 while suicide loss does, it changes us all forever. It changes us as humans, as parents, children.
00:47:26 --> 00:47:30 Hope and healing are absolutely possible. All three of us, I think,
00:47:30 --> 00:47:32 in our own unique ways are showing that.
00:47:32 --> 00:47:38 And, you know, if today's conversation resonated with you in any way and you
00:47:38 --> 00:47:42 want to reach out to us about it, our contact info is, of course,
00:47:42 --> 00:47:44 as always, in the show notes.
00:47:44 --> 00:47:48 Reshma's is also going to be in the show notes, and she's already told us where,
00:47:48 --> 00:47:51 we can reach her. Reach out to her. She wants to hear from you.
00:47:51 --> 00:47:55 That's how I got in contact with her. She is very good about responding to DMs.
00:47:55 --> 00:47:57 I can personally share that she's great.
00:47:58 --> 00:48:02 So and if you're looking for resources for yourself or for somebody else that you love,
00:48:03 --> 00:48:07 we have resources in our show notes as well you can go to my my mental health
00:48:07 --> 00:48:11 resources platform the help hub that's always available as well and,
00:48:11 --> 00:48:15 we just appreciate you being here so thank you thank you thank you,
00:48:16 --> 00:48:22 thank you both thank you and until next time y'all know what to do keep surviving,
00:48:22 --> 00:48:28 and we will be back next week to chat a little bit more about all the things.
00:48:29 --> 00:48:33 Thanks so much for listening and for being part of the Survivors community.
00:48:33 --> 00:48:37 No matter where you are in your story, you're not alone and you're definitely
00:48:37 --> 00:48:41 not broken. Healing takes time and it looks different for everyone.
00:48:42 --> 00:48:46 The fact that you're still here and still trying means you're already doing the hard work.
00:48:47 --> 00:48:51 If something in today's conversation resonated with you, please share it with
00:48:51 --> 00:48:52 someone who might need to hear it too.
00:48:53 --> 00:48:57 That's how we keep these conversations going and remind each other that there's always hope.
00:48:58 --> 00:49:01 And if you or someone you know is struggling, please remember,
00:49:01 --> 00:49:02 help is always out there.
00:49:02 --> 00:49:07 You can call or text 988 anytime to reach a trained crisis counselor like me.
00:49:07 --> 00:49:11 And for more mental health resources, tools, treatment options,
00:49:11 --> 00:49:14 and content to support your mental health, visit thehelphub.co.
00:49:15 --> 00:49:18 We're so grateful you're part of the Survivors family, and we'll be back next
00:49:18 --> 00:49:22 week with another honest conversation about life after the hardest things.
00:49:22 --> 00:49:26 Until then, take care of yourself and your people and keep surviving.

Looking for mental health resources, treatment options, tools, and trauma-informed content, visit TheHelpHUB.co for mental health resources, tools, treatment options, and content when you need it most.

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